Chapter- 4

 Radha sat in her room with her nose buried in her textbook. The equations that were simple to solve seemed too tough at the moment; numbers danced in front of her eyes, and the nagging feeling of what she had lost shadowed her mind yet again. No matter how much she tried to move on, she still wasn’t able to.

The four protein bars she ate in the name of calming herself down did nothing to calm her; instead, they increased her anxiety. The hollow feeling in her heart wasn’t filled with any void but with the chaos of wanting to be what she always was rather than breaking free.

The loveless bond from her parents, the feeling of being unworthy, being incompatible, unfitting, out of place, or being a jinx were too strong to let go of, as they were instilled in her and engraved on her very soul; that Radhika Dhanrajgir is the biggest loser in the world, no matter what she does or will do. And as always, the bitter truth was a hard pill to swallow.

Radha scratched the whole paper as the answer for the equation she was solving didn’t match the one in her textbook. Her body stiffened as Payal’s voice echoed in her ears and the pen slipped from her hands...

“How can you not solve such a simple question, Radhika?”

“How can you be so dumb?”

“Do you think I have the whole day to sit here and help you with such stupid things?”

“If you can’t solve such a simple question, what will you do in the future?”

“Someday you want to become a doctor, then a pilot, or a great businesswoman. But remember this, Radhika, they aren’t failures like you.”

“What will happen to you, Radhika?”

Radha stood up abruptly as her breath hitched. The words echoed in her ears, making her numb and realize what a shame she was. Her eyes wandered to the empty jug kept on the table, and she picked it up. She needed something to drink or eat to force herself to calm down rather than spiral out of control.

Lost in her gloomy thoughts, she bumped into the edge of her bed; the jug slipped from her hands and broke into pieces.

“You can’t do one thing better, girl.” Radha cursed herself. As she was about to bend down to clean up the mess she created, a firm hand grasped her arm, pulling her back abruptly.

“What are you doing, Radha?” Mahir chided gently, guiding her to sit on the bed. “Where does your mind keep wandering?”

Radha’s gaze lowered as she fidgeted with her fingers nervously. ”Sorry,” she mumbled. ”I--I will clean it up.”

Mahir froze for a beat, hearing her words before he continued and took out the first aid kit from the shelf and moved towards his sister. Earlier, he was just entering his room when he heard the crashing sound that made him rush to Radha’ room.

Radha pulled her leg back just as Mahir sat on the floor near her feet and kept her foot on his leg. ”Bhaiya! Kya kar rahe ho aap?(What are doing?)”

Mahir looked at his sister and then back at the glass piece stuck on her ankle. It wasn’t big, yet a painful scratch enough, blood oozing out of it.

“You are injured. Let me clean it, Radha,” Mahir said gently.

Radha frowned and looked down at her feet. For some reason, she didn’t feel any pain.

“I will do it, Bhaiya,” Radha said, pulling back her leg as Mahir took hold of her leg again. Just the thought of her elder brother touching her feet... she hated that.

Mahir raised his eyes and gave her a stern look. He wasn’t in the mood to scold her. What he was seeing was way too much, and it all shook his heart. He was barely holding himself on a thin thread, trying not to burst out at the people who were the cause of his sister’s pain.

Radha looked away, unable to utter anything infront of the look he shot her way. Mahir rested her leg on his lap and continued his ministrations. The nagging feeling he felt coursed through his veins. Radha was already prone to panic attacks, and the way she didn’t show any signs of wincing at the ointment touching the wound rang alarm bells for in his ears. He needed to contact the doctor before it got too late. This time, he was determined not to let anyone get in his way like last time.

Once done with cleaning the wound and applying ointment, he stood up and looked at Radha, who was yet again lost in her own world. Gently, he shook her. ”Come with me.”

“Where?” Radha asked, rising to her feet.

“Let the maids clean the room; till then, you sit in my room.”

“No Bhaiya, I will clean the mess I made and...” Radha trailed off as Mahir held her wrist, guiding her out of the room. She sighed and let him do as he pleased.

Just as they were about to enter Mahir’s room, a maid approached them. ”Ronit Sir is asking for you in his study,” she informed Mahir.

Mahir nodded, dismissing her. Taking out his phone, he texted Arjun as Radha moved inside his room already.

“You go, Bhaiya. Bade Papa might be waiting for you. I’ll stay here,” Radha said as Mahir settled down beside her.

“Tu kya soch rahi hai, Radha? (What are you thinking, Radha)” Mahir asked directly.

“Nothing,” Radha mumbled, looking away.

Mahir lifted her chin, making the girl look at him. ”You can tell me, Radha. Your brother is here, isn’t he? You can share anything with me without worrying that I’ll judge you or your thoughts.”

Radha held his hand in hers. ”It’s nothing like that, Bhaiya… it’s just that I was working on an equation I couldn’t solve. Even though I’ve done it so many times before, I still get stuck. How can I be so brainless?”

“Tujhse bada brainless toh main hoon phir, (Then I must be even bigger brainless than you,)” Abhi interjected, Mahir who was about to speak.

Radha looked up as Abhi entered the room with Arjun. ”What?”

“What? What what?” Abhi teased. ”I was just stating facts. You know, studies and I don’t get along no matter how hard I try…”

“That’s why he doesn’t even try,” Arjun chimed in, ”leaving everything to luck, as if he was born with a golden brain, no?”

Abhi glared at Arjun. ”How mean. You’re talking as if you were the class topper.”

“No, I wasn’t. But I made sure to try my best, and whatever result came, I was satisfied with it, not because I failed or passed but because no matter what, I at least tried my best.”

“And that’s all that matters the most,” Mahir squeezed Radha’s hand in assurance. ”Just because you can’t solve an equation, either the simple or the toughest one, it doesn’t make you dumb or stupid, Radha. You can try again... in the end, you will be satisfied that you gave your best rather than giving up or berating yourself.”

Radha nodded. The ongoing conversation from her brothers’ perspective didn’t feel imposing; it didn’t mean she had to be perfect no matter what. It didn’t indicate that she had to answer each and every question and pressure her brain.

It all simply meant she should be satisfied, and now that she was asking herself, she was satisfied she solved the whole chapter except for just one equation, rather than letting it linger in her brain.

Radha looked at Mahir and wrapped his arms around him, hugging her brother and burying her face in his warmth. After her parents’ death, it was like for the third time that she felt warmth spreading in her heart.

When her parents expected her to be the trophy daughter that shined no matter what... her brothers... her Bhaiya was accepting her with flaws. When she faltered, he guided her; when she seemed lost in the darkness, he was there to guide her through the maze of her chaos.

The feeling of peace was sinful, but for Radha, it didn’t matter at that moment. She just wanted to stay like that in her brother’s protective embrace, away from her dangerous thoughts that were ready to swallow her.

✨✨✨

Mahir looked at his father; it had been more than 30 minutes since Ronit asked him to meet him in the study. The reason was still unknown to him as his father sat there attending a meeting through Skype with foreign delegates. He tried to walk out, saying he would come later, but Ronit stopped him.

Before coming, he made sure to send Radha out with Arjun and Abhi so that she could unwind her mind and stay away from the chaos that might occur, as not a single meeting with his father ended on good terms.

Mahir leaned back in the chair, glancing around the room, taking in the familiar brown and black tones, the dark mahogany bookshelves stacked high with books, the sleek leather armchair opposite his father’s desk, and the white cold marble floor. Everything seemed to make it feel more distant.

The room felt imposing, like a fortress of authority, making one feel small, except for the man sitting before Mahir. Ronit’s presence loomed larger even when he wasn’t speaking to him, and Mahir hated being there at that moment.

For the past few weeks, his mind had been a mess, especially after the sudden death of Raghav and Payal. Dhanrajgir wasn’t just a name, but a brand in itself. The sudden death of Raghav, the COO of Dhanrajgir Empire, hit the stock market, shaking it like never before.

Ronit ran his own chain of businesses as the CEO, and Raghav was second in command, standing beside his brother at every step, helping him handle every detail with precision. Today, with him gone, the ripple effects were felt everywhere in the business, yet Ronit had always been powerful, poised, and had a kind of dominance that could manage both personal and professional matters.

However, Mahir felt a bitter taste in his mouth as he realized that his father had failed at home. When Ronit was supposed to console a child who lost her parents, he started to keep his distance from Radha. When he was supposed to heal someone’s broken heart, he was inflicting more scars on the girl’s pure soul. Once, like every other child, Mahir had seen his father as a superhero, placing him on a pedestal, but today, when the man failed, he felt resentment rising in his heart.

Mahir needs a closure; he needs to know the reason behind Ronit’s indifference despite knowing the truth. He wants to hear something else despite facing a reality that was like a slap to his face. When the storms come, they bring with them a kind of cleansing; a painful one, yet the necessary one too.

Mahir learned his lesson the hard way as the past flashed in front of his eyes. Suddenly he felt suffocated and stood up, making his way towards the french window, opening them widely.

The soft breeze splashed on his face, but nothing seemed to slow down his racing heart...

The soft golden rays filtered through the drapes, painting the living room in warm hues, but the warmth did nothing to subside the cold tension lingering in the air. Ronit sat at one end of the couch, his body stiff and his mind lost in his own thoughts. Beside him sat Raghav, who reached out and held his elder brother’s hand, offering his understanding, support, and comfort.

The sudden upheaval in their business and the shocking betrayal of his own friend were too much for Ronit to bear. His insides were burning with rage and hurt. The betrayal had not just cut him in the professional realm but had struck deeper on a personal level too.

Avinash Rathod wasn’t just Ronit’s childhood friend; he had been more than just that. He had been like a brother to Ronit, someone Ronit trusted fully and blindly, someone he never thought would backstab him.

So the bitter reality of his business deal, the confidential information that was leaked to their rivals, and the losses in the company left Ronit shattered, trying to grapple with the situation of his misplaced trust. Jealousy that festered for years ultimately drove Avinash to take such a ruthless step, which was harsh to face.

While the elder clan sat in their own world trying to get a grip on the situation, Radha descended down the stairs, bouncing with a wide smile spread across her face. She had just found a wooden box kept in the store. Initially, she went to search for her teddy bear but got distracted when she saw the box peeping from the shelves. The ‘A’ engraved on it with crystals looked too fascinating, enhancing its simple beauty.

Radha loved crafting, and Father’s Day nearing up next week, she wanted to make something special for her father, especially since her parents were going easy on her, not scolding or punishing her for every misstep she took.

Truth be told, the nine-year-old girl was trying her best to fit in as per her parents’ wishes. She didn’t talk loudly, she didn’t laugh loudly, she scored good marks in exams, burying her face in her studies and projects, keeping her stupid, unnecessary cravings for ice creams, chocolates, pizzas, or pastas at bay. She didn’t dare to question the words or orders her parents threw her way, obeying it all like a puppet. But for Radha, it was the process of becoming the best daughter, and she was doing just that, hoping against hope that maybe... just maybe one day her parents would say that they were proud of her or smile her way even with her failures.

Lost in her excitement, she descended down the steps, only to skip one step and stumble. The box in her hands slipped, and she held the railing, composing herself and breaking the fall. However, her eyes widened as she saw the box split in two pieces, with a few crystals scattered around.

“What the hell did you do, Radhika?” Ronit’s angry voice boomed, making the girl flinch back.

Scared, Radha lowered herself to the floor, picking up the box. ”S-so—sorry, Bade papa, vo i....” Her words trailed off as Ronit pulled her, holding her arm in a swift move, and slapped her hard.

“Do you even realize what you have done?” Ronit shook the girl angrily. ”It was my father’s last sign, something so precious to me that you broke it. How dare you?” he yelled, striking the girl with yet another slap, making her stumble back.

Payal gasped in shock and tried to step in to save her daughter, but Raghav held her wrist, stopping her. His elder brother was already facing a lot, and what Radha did was the last thread he was holding onto. He didn’t want his wife to bear the brunt of something that was Radha’s stupidity.

Radha’s eyes welled up as she saw her father holding back her mother. Neither was he stepping in nor was he letting her mother do so. At that very moment, the fragile heart of hers broke into a million pieces. It wasn’t that she didn’t love Ronit or Sakshi, but their indifference was as clear as crystal towards her, and the same went for her parents. But atleast expected her parents’ support when she was petrified by Ronit’s sudden outburst?

“Raghav ko kya dekh rahi hai? (Why are you looking at Raghav?) Look at me!” Ronit fumed.

Radha flinched back, snapping out of her thoughts. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she raised her gaze to meet Ronit’s fiery eyes. However, before Ronit could utter a word, Mahir stepped in, standing like a shield, protecting his sister from his father’s piercing gaze.

“Move,” Ronit commanded.

“No, Dad!” Mahir stated firmly. He had just stepped out of his room after finishing the editing for his song, only to find his sister crying.

It didn’t take him long to guess what might have happened, as never once had a day gone by where his sister didn’t cry or get scolded without any reason, no matter if Radha was at fault or not. Using her as their personal punching bag had become his parents’ and uncle’s hobby.

“Do you even realize what you all are doing?” Mahir chided angrily. ”Aap sabh ki inn harkaton ka Radha par kya asar hoga? Aapko parwaah hai bhi ya nahi? (Do you even care what effect all of this is having on Radha? Or does it not matter to you at all?)”

“Mahir,” Sakshi interjected coldly. She couldn’t bear seeing her son take the side of a ‘jinx.’ ”You will stay out of this and let your father handle this matter. Do you even know what did she do?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t even want to know, Mom.” Mahir met her gaze unwaveringly. “Because no matter what kind of mistake Radha committed, that doesn’t make what you are doing right.”

“She broke your grandfather’s last memento,” Ronit stated angrily, pointing at the scattered box. ”What do you think I should do with her? How can she be so clumsy, and who gave her the right to touch that box?”

“If it was so precious and close to your heart, you should have treasured it in your locker, Dad,” Mahir shot back. ”Not in the storeroom.”

“Mahir!” Raghav fumed, “You don’t talk to your father like that.”

“I know that, Chachu, but Dad didn’t leave me with a choice,” Mahir hissed. “You all need to stop treating my sister like a stranger or an outsider. Aur rahi baat box ki, it can be fixed if one wants to... but jaha se mein dekh raha hu, you all need just one topic, no matter how small or big... aap sabh ko bas mauka chahiye Radha ko blame karne ka, usse ek criminal ki tarah treat karne ka, saza dene ka. (And as for the box, it can be fixed if one really wants to… but from where I see it, you all just need one excuse, no matter how small or big, to blame Radha, to treat her like a criminal, to punish her.)”

Just like that, the fight escalated. Mahir was 23, a young blood who believed in speaking his mind no matter how harsh or blunt his words might sound. His father had taught him that there was no point in hiding emotions or burying feelings within the family, as it all only led to rifts and misunderstandings that could take years to repair.

Mahir, true to his upbringing, spoke the matter of facts, always keeping in mind that he was talking to his parents, so his voice was polite but held the tint of coldness and directness of a sharp knife. The harsh words exchanged in defense of his sister. Mahir’s voice cutting through the pent-up frustration built within him over the years.

It wasn’t about him but about his nine-year-old sister who was as innocent as a pure flower blooming under nature, unaware of what she faced daily. The burden of anger, frustration, and indifference... if this goes on, he was sure Radha would lose herself in the myriad of what her parents wanted her to become... a puppet to dance to their tunes.

Mahir stood his ground, not wanting to see the day where his sister flinched at every step she took for herself. It wasn’t just about a broken box that lay on the floor but much more than that... it was about Radhika’s respect in the family, her dignity, and her place that she was forgetting just as a child growing up.

From Mahir’s standpoint, it seemed painfully clear. Payal stood back in silence, witnessing it all like her usual self, rather than taking a stand for her daughter, tears glistening in her eyes but never daring to go against her husband.

Then his own mother stood by his father, adding fuel to the fire with each word of support for her husband’s harsh treatment towards Radha.

And then his uncle, a father for whom his daughter was always wrong... he would trust a stranger but not his own daughter, and that only made Mahir’s resolve stronger than before. He vowed to become a shield for his sister that would protect her no matter what the situation was.

Amidst the chaos stood Radha behind Mahir, covering her ears with her hands. The constant fighting, the bitter words, the icy stares, everything was breaking her from within. Nine years old, her felt like daggers aimed at her heart. And the only thing that she questioned herself was, what did she ever do to deserve all this?

Slowly her breath hitched, shallow and erratic, and her heart pounded in her chest. She could hear the voices, but it all felt distant, as if they were coming from the corner of the room.

The world around her blurred in front of her eyes, and her head spun as she felt lightheaded, as if the ground beneath her feet could collapse at any moment. Her knees buckled, and she crumpled down on the floor with a thud. She could hear someone shaking her, calling out her name, but the weight of the emotional toll took over her, making her faint in Mahir’s arms.

“Mahir,” Ronit called out to his son, who stood near the window, lost in his thoughts.

Mahir snapped out of his thoughts and looked at his father. In the past, till date, that was the day he regretted the most. He was so focused on defending his sister and standing up for her, confronting the wrongs he saw, that he failed to truly understand the complexity of the situation. In his rush to make things right, he overlooked the emotional toll it was taking on Radha, unwillingly triggering her first panic attack.

 

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