Chapter- 8

Radha sat on the last bench of her classroom, her notebook open in front of her, as the lecture was ongoing with the teacher's voice echoing through the room, and she jotted down notes from time to time. Her eyes often drifted outside the window to the tree where birds played, fluttering among the branches.

Watching them hop from twig to twig, chirping as if they had no care in the world, something about their freedom and carefree nature tugged at her heartstrings. Friends, parents, partners; whatever they were, they seemed happy; the soft chirping was the testimony of that, rather than the shriek she never heard.

With a quiet sigh, she forced herself to focus on her lesson, penning down the equation from the board. But no matter what she tried, she couldn't shake off the gloomy thoughts. No matter what she did, she couldn't concentrate on anything. No matter how much she tried to delete her Badi's maa's words from her system, the more they came back to bite her. The more she found herself blaming herself for anything or everything.

Like any other child, she too craved a happy family. Despite living in a big, fat joint family, she was deprived of all that her classmates had. She agreed she didn't know about their struggles but was sure they weren't as bad as hers. Their parents came to pick them up from school; they even participated in competitions with their kids. Even after the PTA meetings, she never heard a father scolding his son or daughter right in front of everyone. They gave their kids a chance to explain themselves, and even if they were wrong, they didn't embarrass them... her parents were exceptional.

Jealousy was evil, yet she couldn't help but feel that green-eyed monster for every student in her class.

Just in cue, the bell rang, snapping her out of thoughts. It was recess time.

"Okay, class, freeze," Vrushali, their science teacher, called out.

The class sat back in their seats, who were ready to dash out of the jail.

Vrushali smiled gently. "I won't take much of your time, just a small reminder that in 8th period, I am going to give you a science test, so don't forget to revise a bit."

The class groaned, whispered, and mumbled before eventually nodding and heading out. However, Radha sat pale in her seat. After two weeks break, it was her first day in school. She didn't even know anything about the class test. She was lacking in each and every subject. Neither did she know where it was going, nor did she have her notes complete.

It shouldn't be a big deal, but for her, it was. After her parents, it was Ronit and Sakshi who were her official guardians. They were as strict as her parents. She knew she couldn't dare to fail her exams, yet she didn't know the way out.

Her teacher, Vrushali, was generous, Radha knew that if she asked to sit out for this class test and take a re-exam next week, she would be allowed. But, like always, words failed her, and her throat went dry.

Sakshi's angry gaze, blurred with hate, flashed in front of her eyes. She didn't even know how to get herself out of the situation. Maybe... maybe she could ask her brother to help her out... The more she thought, the more her thoughts spiraled...

Panic coursed through her veins. Radha looked down at her trembling hands. She held them in place, taking a deep breath before she slipped into yet another episode and became a laughing stock in front of others.

"Radhika?" A soft voice penetrated through her overthinking thoughts.

Radha looked up, only to jolt to her feet as she found Vrushali right in front of her desk. The concern in her brown eyes couldn't be ignored. Radha looked around; the class was almost empty, with just a few students lingering behind.

"Y—Yes, M—Ma'am," Radha stuttered, trying to compose herself.

"Are you okay?" Vrushali asked, concerned. She could see the girl taking deep breaths again and again, and that worried her.

Radha nodded, forcing a smile.

"Radhika," Vrushali reached out, holding Radha's hand in hers. "I know it's tough for you, but don't be so hard on yourself, dear. Jo hogaya, hum usse badal nahi sakte, but we have to be brave and live through it. Hmm?"

Radha nodded again. She could hear the condolences in the tone. If any other teacher had said those words, Radha might have felt irritated, it would have sounded as fake as a plastic smile worn for appearances.

But it came from Vrushali. Radha knew the difference between genuine concern and someone rubbing salt in her wounds, and Vrushali was anything but the latter. She was kind, patient, and the only teacher who made Radha feel seen, not just as a student, but as an individual.

Vrushali's heart went out to the girl standing before her. Radhika was one of the bright students of hers, the one who grasped complex topics with quick ease, who topped academic charts consistently, and the one who loved doing the experiments in the labs. However, behind it all lived a girl in the shadows who simply wanted to smile without any fear or validation.

The reality of her parents' actions wasn't lost on Vrushali either. What made it worse was how some teachers exploited Radha's vulnerability. They took advantage of her silence, using her as a scapegoat when lessons lagged or as a target to assert their authority. They masked cruelty with discipline, as if publicly belittling the girl gave them control and satisfied their egos.

It was a cycle Vrushali had seen often: if a child isn't respected within their own household, society often follows suit. It was brutal, but heartbreakingly true.

Unfortunately, Radha was one such case.

The humiliation and scolding the girl faced in front of the teachers during PTA meetings all gave teachers a much-needed chance to pounce on.

No matter how many times she tried to convince Payal to take it slow to understand that the girl was still a child and a teenager at that, she needed caring, patience, and understanding rather than a tough hand or their so-called parenting.

However, she was reminded that she was just a teacher who knew nothing more than a mother. Getting a reminder of her place, she eventually stepped back, as crossing Dhanrajgir' meant losing her job, something she couldn't afford.

Radha gathered her courage and looked at Vrushali. "M—Ma'am, the test...."

"You don't have to give that, beta," Vrushali cut her off softly. "You will be sitting this one out. Your brother called me this morning and requested if I could take your test next week. I know what you are going through, and I understand. I will provide you the notes for science; you have a week’s time until then to prepare yourself for that."

"Ji. (Yes?)," Radha said quietly and sat down as Vrushali walked away.

Her bhaiya talked to the teacher? And he didn't even inform her about it?

You were the one avoiding him, Radha's inner self mocked back.

After the last night's conversation, she slept earlier yesterday, and then in the morning, when Mahir tried to talk to her, she quickly avoided him, stuffing her breakfast and then asking Arjun to drop her off at school just as Mahir was about to pick up the car keys.

It wasn't like she was ignoring him and punishing him for something. It was simply her avoiding her brother, who could melt down the walls around her as easily as the ice kept under the scorching sun.

She felt guilty on many counts; apologies are sometimes never enough, so she wasn't just protecting herself but her brother too. It was better they lived like they used to. She didn't wish to create more issues between him and his parents. She had done enough damage; for a fact, it was better if she stayed away from all her brothers and...

BAM! Two books were slapped on her desk unceremoniously. Radha looked up only to find Abhishek.

"What are you doing here?" Radha asked, looking around. He should be with his friends having his tiffin.

"I came to take you. Come on, let’s go outside. I’m starving." Abhi held her wrist, pulling her up.

Radha shook her head. "You go, I’ll have it here only. I need to finish my notes… By the way, what’s this?" she asked, picking up the book he had brought earlier.

"History and Civics notes," Abhi said, settling down beside her with his tiffin.

"How did you get them?" Radha asked in disbelief.

"I simply asked the teacher, and they gave me from a different class student. Once you are done, tell me; I will give the book back to the teacher."

Radha looked at him, shocked. "You asked the teacher, like, directly?"

Abhi shrugged. His Bhaiya had already talked to the teacher, and all he had to do was parcel the book to Radha.

When the professor tried to belittle Radha, all he wanted to do was to munch the old hag, but the moment he saw him stuttering on the call while speaking to his Bhaiya, he was deeply satisfied. The almighty professor was putty in front of Mahir Dhanrajgir.

Abhi was sure the professor wouldn't dare to say anything wrong to Radha. One phone conversation was quite a good change; otherwise, the old hag would be a fool to try to bring Mahir's wrath upon himself. Though Abhi would love the show, he still prayed for the old man to be kept in check.

"Why are you sitting with me? You should be with your friends, right?" Radha chided. "Go have your tiffin with them. I want to finish these notes. I’ll eat later."

Abhi ignored her words and tore a morsel of paratha, bringing it near her mouth. His Bhaiya made it early in the morning, keeping Radha's taste and flavors in mind. He knew the girl would have it if she wanted or leave it to her mood. His bhaiya had taught him that food should not be wasted, nor should it be skipped when it is time to eat.

Radha glared at him. "I told you..."

"Eat," Abhi interjected, glaring back at her.

Radha stared at him for a whole minute before giving in with an annoyed huff. He was just a few months older than her yet loved to play the elder brother card when needed.

Abhi ignored a sulking look and leaned back, making himself comfortable. He didn't have his Bhaiya's patience, nor did he have his Bhaiyu's understanding. His brothers had their own way of dealing with Radha, and neither of them fit with his.

He preferred taking the bull by the horns, but still, he kept himself from asking Radha about her unusual behavior. He was quiet but not blind or dumb; he could see what she was doing. But his elder brothers were there to look into it. He was doing what he could on his part, standing by his sister like he always does.

Radha opened her notebook and started completing her notes. Abhi feeding her was nothing new to her. Every time he did that, ditching his friends and sitting with her during break time, she felt guilty for taking away his time from his friends, but she too didn't have much of a choice. Her brother was a stubborn mule.

Other than that, she didn't have a single friend she could rely on, no one to cover for her, no one to help her with her homework or notes, no one to laugh with during breaks or hang out with. She was a loner compared to the others in her class.

It wasn't like she didn't try; she did. She took the initiative, but the last she remembered, the girl she befriended was the daughter of the driver in her house. Status shouldn't matter, as that was what she believed in, but unfortunately, not her mother.

The day Payal saw her hanging out with Shruti in the garden, the girl and her father disappeared the very next day. When and where, she didn't know, but why... she still remembered her mother's words, cold and clear...

"You befriend people beneath us as if you are one of them. How dare you?" Priya hissed in anger, shaking her daughter as her fingers dug into Radha's shoulder. "Because of your foolishness, I had to fire that man and send his daughter away. Next time, if I ever catch you disgracing the name you carry, I will make sure you regret it. You don't get to choose your company and show sympathy to anyone giving you sad looks. Is that clear, Radhika?"

Radha sighed deeply as she remembered, nodding her head like a puppet. That day, she was glad her mother didn't utter a word in front of Raghav, or Radha knew she would have ended up in deeper trouble than just the words her mother lectured her about.

To her parents, friendship didn't mean loyalty, laughter, or shared secrets; it meant status, convenience, and control. Not connection or bond, but calculation, like some sort of business deal.

So eventually, Radha's mind defined friendship in her ears like a devil in darkness. That friendship meant distractions, loss of focus in studies, troubles, or getting pulled into unnecessary drama, something she never wanted to fall for, as her life wasn't less dramatic or spicy.

In the end, she chose solitude, or maybe it chose her, keeping her safe and sane!

✨✨✨

Mahir sat in a cozy corner of the café. The chatter and clinking of cups played in the background while his mind drifted back to his sister all over again. Nothing could calm down his nerves, knowing the fact that his sister was plainly avoiding him.

Why? He was unaware of that, and it left him feeling helpless. Even though he tried to talk and initiate a conversation with Radha, the curt, plain replies were getting on his nerves. He was restless and impatient, not because of time, but because of the silence and the unknown distance that had been growing between them.

He even considered it was best to give Radha the space she needed, as all her life she had been crushed under the weight of control decisions made for her, her feelings dismissed, and her voice reduced to whispers.

So, Mahir stepped back, but the more he thought about giving her space, the more he felt his sister slipping further away, like sand falling through his fingers. Eventually, it reminded him of the past, the past he didn't wish to remember, keeping the gates closed forever. But now, it all dragged him back to the memories he had kept buried in the deep oceans.

Mahir flinched inwardly as he found himself standing at the top of the stairs, frozen right beside Radha. He could easily understand the politics between the adults of the family, and unfortunately, so could Radha. The rejection was so harsh that it could settle not just in the heart and mind, but in the skin too, like frost.

At 2 in the night, Radha sneaked into his room, asking him to take her out. She wanted to breathe and break free from the suffocation that she was feeling in her own home. The words or understanding like that were hard sometimes for a 12-year-old to grasp, but for Radha, she knew what was expected of her: the perfect trophy daughter her parents wanted her to become.

She was trying her best to fit into that mold, but when she did well, she expected a pat on her back with love. Instead, all she got was a curt nod, and when she made a mistake, she was punished, grounded and locked in her room until she realized her mistake.

However, that day, for the first time, Radha stepped out of her room. She was on house arrest, or better yet, room arrest for the whole day, just because she didn't top her mathematics third-level competition and came third. The bronze medal she won was thrown in the trash can in front of her eyes by her father, and her mother warned her not to step out of the room.

Radha agreed to it all with her head bowed, tears streaming down her face, which were as useless as her efforts according to her parents.

Mahir did just as Radha wanted. Ground rules were something he didn't object to, but what his chachu and chachi were doing was next to cruel. In the morning, he tried to intervene when his mother dragged him and his brothers away.

Despite living under the same roof, the brothers weren't able to help their sister; they hated themselves for that.

The chilling wind and an Oreo ice cream helped Radha relax. The tears she tried not to shed fell freely as she let them in her brother's embrace, knowing he was there to hold her at that moment.

But the safety of heaven she felt was short-lived when Ronit called Mahir. As they reached home, the arguments were already going on between both of their fathers. Raghav was angry, and Ronit was trying to calm down his younger brother, but all in vain.

"Bhaiya, either you tell Mahir to stay away from my daughter, or I will leave this house with my family."

Raghav's sharp voice, filled with unmistakable anger, came rushing back like a thunderclap.

Just as Raghav spat those words, Mahir felt the grip on Radha's hand loosen. He tried to hold her hand but already felt her stepping back from her own brother. His eyes filled up with helplessness.

The fear in her eyes, the distress, and agitation, everything forced him to stay still rather than reach out for her, knowing that if he fought, Raghav would do what he had just threatened, as according to Raghav and Payal, Mahir was being a bad influence on his own sister.

Too emotional, too straightforward, and too unwilling to blindly follow the rules dictated by their parents, Mahir just wanted to protect his sister from the fake status and thoughts, letting her be human and herself rather than a puppet in the hands of her own parents.

But for the elders in the family, he was wrong. Eventually, Mahir stepped back; so did Radha, keeping her distance from all her brothers, not just Mahir. Leaving her brothers, her only family, wasn't an option.

The memories faded but left behind the sting that Mahir could feel to this day.

Feeling a hand on his shoulder, Mahir blinked, jumping back to the present, which was not so different from the past.

"Mahir?" came a gentle, familiar voice.

He turned, and relief splashed over his muscles, washing away the earlier stress as he saw her.

Sherya Sharma, his best friend, the one constant in his life through school, college, and university to this day. She sat across from him with a soft smile that adorned her face.

"Are you fine?" Sherya asked softly.

"No!" Mahir replied honestly.

"Kya hua? (What happened?) You asked me to come urgently? Is everything fine at home? Radha? Arjun? Abhi?"

"Radha."

Shreya frowned. "What happened to her?"

Mahir let out a tired sigh, reciting all that had been happening over the last few days and everything that had occurred in the last few weeks. She had been out of town for her work. Yet when he called her, she prioritised him and came to meet him, something for which he was grateful.

He gave her honesty. He didn't mind letting his facade crack in front of her, nor did he mind the words he chose for his parents or what he displayed. She understood him enough to listen to him and guide him, and he wanted just that.

Sherya filled the glass with water and slid it towards Mahir. He looked like he needed it more than the coffee he ordered, which he hadn't even touched.

"Talk to her, Mahir," Sherya suggested clamly. "She is bottling up her feelings, something that is not good. Girls tend to mature faster than boys, Mahir, not just physically but emotionally and mentally as well. At a young age, they begin to understand the importance of family, relationships, and emotional dynamics. They start to develop a stronger sense of responsibilities, social awareness, and the difference between right and wrong. All that helps them walk through the complex situations in their lives, and it all comes naturally."

Sherya reached out, resting her hand on his. "But Radha, she grew up before that maturity could settle in her. She grew up the day she realized that she had to live up to her parents' expectations if she wanted their love and affection. An emotion that is priceless came at a price for her, making her lose herself and the innocence her heart still holds, but it all is hiding in the shadows. You told me that for the first time in years, she cried that day, the girl who learned to swallow down her tears, keeping them at bay. But when you gave her assurance, she cried not because of the story you recited, but because there was a hope that lit in her heart; a hope that there was someone on whom she could rely and cry freely without being judged."

Mahir rubbed his face tiredly. "Do you think I didn't try? I have been doing my best for the last two days, but every time I try to reach out, she steps back or changes the topic. Even in the morning same thing happened. I was about to drive her to school. She saw that I picked up the car keys, yet she asked Arjun to drop her off. What worries me more is her health. She already has untimely panic attacks, and they are severe. I am scared that one mistake from me will push my sister into a zone where she has been living for so many years. I want to break that shell she has made around her, but not by forcing her will and pushing her future away..."

Mahir looked away. He wanted to hold strong, but the more he tried, the more he felt he was losing a battle.

He wasn't a pro or anything to handle everything, but for his sister, he wanted to learn how to deal with teens. Even if he tried to put himself in Radha's shoes, he couldn't feel anything as he hadn't gone through the harsh behaviors that Radha faced from her parents.

He was willing to give it his all, but he stood at the cliff where he found one side telling him that he was being overbearing and the other that he was being careless. He didn't know what to think, but one thing was clear: he was being both, careless and overbearing.

"Aapko Radha ko badlna nhi hai, Mahir, (You don't have to change Radha.) Sherya spoke softly.

The vulnerability, raw and unguarded, twisted something deep within her heart. She had always known Mahir Dhanrajgir to be unshakable, a man who stood tall even when the ground beneath him crumbled.

He was the one who didn't let himself break when he discovered the truth about his biological father. He hadn't lost faith when, for the first two years of his career, no one seemed to see his potential. He didn't back down when he faced rejection from both small and big production houses. And he hadn't flinched when he chose to confront the very people who raised him, the ones he loved, respected, and once idolized, yet had the courage to call them out because his sister needed him to.

But today, when Sherya saw sheen of tears shimmering in his eyes, it felt different.

For the first time, she was seeing him standing on the edge of his own strength, torn apart between guilt and helplessness.

And it broke her heart, not because he looked weak or any less with tears swimming in his eyes. Tears were what made one human; she knew that fact.

But the realization that Mahir was carrying too much more than he was showing, and that too for so long, still blaming himself for not doing more, was what truly affected her.

Sherya squeezed his hand gently. "Mahir, please look at me," she probed as he refused to look her way.

Mahir looked up, taking a deep breath to compose his emotions. He didn't mind letting himself crack in front of her, but they were sitting in a public place. He didn't wish to create an unnecessary scene. A lot was going on in his mind. He should have chosen a better place to talk; even though half of the café was unoccupied, it still nagged at him.

"Aapko Radha ko badalna nahi hai, Mahir, (You don't have to change Radha)," Shreya repeated gently, her voice a quiet anchor in his chaotic mind.

"Usse bas yeh ehsaas chaiye ki jab sab kuch toot raha ho, tab bhi koi hai jo bina kuch badle, uske saath khada hai. (All she needs is the assurance that even when everything else falls apart, there will still be someone who stands beside her without asking her to change.) All you have to do is let her feel loved. Is she trying to distance herself from you? Fine, let her do that. Maybe she is doing that to protect herself from getting hurt all over again. Maybe she is trying to protect you so that you don't get into arguments with your parents because of her. It's her defense mechanism, Mahir. But the truth is, she still loves you just as much as she did before she found out the truth about your birth. Nothing has changed, Mahir. Radha is perfect the way she is. All you have to do is make her feel love, a love that is unconditional. If she wants to step back, let her do that, but still hold onto her and remind her that no matter what she does, no matter how much she tries to run away, you won't let her suffer alone and will hold her. She needs assurance jo sirf ab aap usse de sakte hain..." Sherya trailed off as Mahir shook his head slightly, meeting her gaze.

Her heart pounded in her chest, "Kuch aur bhi hai? (Is there something more?)

Mahir let out a deep sigh, "Radha's doctor wants me to take Radha for therapy. Her having severe panic attacks even at the slightest thing is making her situation complicated. According to the doctor, she needs to open up before she shuts herself off forever.

"And?"

Mahir looked away, "Radha will never agree. She will hate me for it."

He knew it because he had tried to broach the topic a few years back. When his sister had her first panic attack, it was like his world stopped when Radha was unconscious for a whole day.

According to the doctor, the girl was taking too much for her age, and it was simply showing in her system. Realizing that his arguments were affecting Radha, he toned down a lot, yet he didn't forget to shield his sister. He always sent her away with Arjun or Abhi before having a 'talk' with his parents.

When the doctor prescribed therapy, he agreed, but parental consent was important, and as usual, Payal and Raghav refused...

"She is not crazy, Mahir. She doesn't need all those stupid things when she has her parents. Therapy is for people who have lost their minds, and Radha. She just needs discipline, not some stranger feeding her nonsense."

"Children her age always act out. She will grow out of it once she realizes we are doing what's best for her. Don’t interfere in things you don’t understand, and don’t encourage her weakness.”

The words said in front of Radha were such that they impacted her, and she started to hide her panic attacks too. He realized it when he found her struggling in the storeroom after yet another study session with her mother.

Mahir tried to approach her too; he wanted his sister to say yes, and he would have fought with everyone. But Radha denied him and stopped talking to him for a week, as what her parents said was right. She wasn't crazy, but her Bhaiya was telling her otherwise. She didn't wish to go to some mental asylum. She was fine on her own, alive on the outside. Inside, it didn't matter.

"Radha, aapne bhaiya ki baat kabhie nahi talegi, Mahir. Yeh aap bhi jaante hain aur mai bhi, (Radha will never go against her brother’s words, Mahir. You know that, and so do I,)" Sherya continued. "A few years ago, she was just 11, but now she’s 15. A teenager is fragile and fiercely independent. You want to take Radha for therapy, then prepare her. Koi patient coma mein hota hai toh doctor ki dawa ke saath-saath family ki dua aur unka pyaar hi uss patient ko theek karta hai. Waise hi, Radha ko aap apna pyaar aur apni understanding dijiye. (When a patient is in a coma, it’s not just the doctor’s medicines but also the family’s prayers and love that help in recovery. In the same way, Radha needs your love and understanding.) Let her be herself, and I am sure after all this, when you broach the topic of therapy.. She will agree, with lots of hesitations and reluctance, but she will want to try it... just for you."

Mahir looked at her startled.

Sherya smiled faintly, "For now, she herself doesn't know what to expect from her own brothers. Uske parents, jinki vo sun ke apna din chalati thi, haar cheez unse puch kar karti thi, vo aaj nahi hain. Uske bade mumma papa usse blame karte hain, usse nafrat karte hain.  (Her parents, the ones she used to listen to, the ones she used to ask before doing anything, are no longer here. Your parents blame her, they hate her.) She knows that too. But her brothers? They love her! But is their love unconditional, or will it come at a price? She doesn't know that, Mahir. Aap bhai behno mein pyaar hai, but aap logo ne kabhi uss pyaar ko bayan nahi kiya, (There is love between you siblings, but you all have never expressed that love,) due to the given circumstances. But Radha needs to know. She is scared that if she lets you or any of her brothers in, she will be herself. She might make mistakes, she might say no, she might talk back, laugh too much, or anything or everything. And she is scared that if she is herself, she will be abandoned all over again, left in the desert all on her own. If needed, you have to be firm with her. But that firmness should also hold the love and affection she is looking for. You don't have to be all strict and commanding like her parents. Give her what you can. Be yourself, Mahir. Ek baar Abhi ko Radha ki jagah rakh kar dekhiye. Agar Abhi aapko aise ignore karta kisi bhi baat ke liye toh kya aap usse karne dete? (Just once, put Abhi in Radha’s place. If Abhi ignored you like this over something, would you have let him?)"

Mahir looked away. He would have whacked his brother and then pulled him to his heart, making him understand that communication was the key.

Sherya smiled, seeing the look on his face. "Radha doesn't want you to change yourself, Mahir. She wants you to be just the way you are with your brothers. Usse khone ke dar se aap usse khudse aur zyada dur kar rahe hain. (Out of fear of losing her, you are only pushing her farther away from yourself.) So stop that and be the brother you are, not what your fears are dictating you to be."

Mahir leaned back in his chair. Her words ignited something deeper within him, providing the much-needed reality check he was looking for. He looked up at Sherya, who was still staring at him. The concern in her blue eyes wasn't lost on him, nor was the small frown of worry. More than him, she seemed tense.

He smiled to ease her up. "Thank you."

Sherya's eyes lit up. That was what she had been missing for so many years: a smile that could make him look more charming than he was.

Sherya leaned back in her chair and clicked her tongue playfully. "Thank you, is quite underrated. Order me some vanilla latte..." She glanced at the black coffee with disgust. "You can have this poison."

Mahir chuckled, shaking his head. He called over a barista and ordered whatever Sherya wanted. Together, they sat under the cozy café, more relaxed than before.

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