Chapter- 32

Radha stared at the answer sheet before her blankly. Her heart was ready to jump out of her rib cage. Her breathing slow but uneven. Her palms sweating. Her eyes held emotions that looked void, yet revealed the storm she was suffering from within.

Chemistry – 16/30.

Radha’s breath hitched as she read it again and again on repeat. She had lost fourteen marks in her last class test exam. And how? Due to the chemical reactions she answered wrong, confusing and mixing up different questions with different answers; like oxidation to reduction. Also the small mistakes like writing the correct formula but balancing the equation wrong.

Radha didn’t know how to get her Bade Papa’s signature on this. Usually it was her parents who did that. For them, her losing even one mark was a sin she committed, and here today she had lost fourteen. Her Badi Maa wouldn’t like it.

Radha froze. Her head snapped up.

Was it happening because she was letting herself get carried away too much?

Her eyes landed on her phone... Distraction no. 1.

Her gaze shifted to her Kindle tab and the novels kept on the bedside table... Distraction no. 2.

Her eyes drifted to the painting colours... Distraction no. 3.

Each one of them led her to her failure. Her father was right. She should be put on room arrest, studying all day and night rather than finding escape in books and wasting her time.

Radha was ashamed of herself. She was the reason, more than the distractions. She should have kept herself in control. She shouldn’t have let herself drift away from her priorities.

Her parents might be feeling the same  embarrassment and disappointment they always felt. She remembered giving her best in the exam, studying properly with her whole heart, but again the minor mistakes, her negligence, brought her to a stage where she failed. If she would have scored just a few marks lower, it would have gone straight to average passing, and that was her red line.

Radhika Raghav Dhanrajgir could never be an average student. She was supposed to be on the top, stuck to that position forever.

Radha leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table as she palmed her face. She had failed her parents again, done something to bring them humiliation and hurt. Now that she thought about it, maybe their anger was always justified. She was the problem, not their expectations.

She was the one who was a bloody idiot who couldn’t score full marks, a girl who didn’t even have a dream.

Dreams? When Ajay asked her that question yesterday, Radha hadn’t felt it in her heart. She had just been numb, but now it hit the right place.

How could a girl like her, who failed in a simple monthly class test, even have a dream of her own? How could she...

“Radha?” Arjun’s voice filtered into her ears from behind, putting a full stop to her thoughts.

Radha flinched as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She straightened up instinctively, shoving the answer sheet into one of her textbooks.

Since the moment she had come back from school, she had been in her room, doing her homework, completing her pending notes, and then she remembered the answer sheet. She hadn’t checked it in class because it would have been too much for her, and now she was glad she didn’t. Otherwise, she would have made fool out of herself before everyone, unable to keep her emotions on a tight leash.

“Kya hua? Kya chhupa rahi hai? (What happened? What are you hiding?)” Arjun teased playfully.

Radha swiveled the chair, facing her brother. “N–nothing,” she replied, averting her gaze.

She couldn’t tell her Bhaiyu about her marks. She couldn’t ask her Bhaiya for the signature. He would sign, truth be told, he wouldn’t even judge, but her mind refused to believe it.

If it had been Abhi in her place, both Mahir and Arjun would have made the boy’s ears bleed for such marks. But it was her. And she wasn’t looking for sympathy.

Arjun raised an eyebrow. ”So now you will hide things from me? Tell me what you were doing.” His tone gentled.

Radha sighed. She couldn’t lie to her brother to his face, that was the bane of her existence. Turning around, she pulled out the answer sheet and passed it to Arjun. There was no point hiding it anymore.

Arjun frowned as he went through the sheet. He looked at his sister, confusion clear on his face. ”What? Isme chhupane wali kya baat hai? (What is there to hide in this?)”

He glanced at the bottom of the page, the guardian’s signature section empty, and exhaled sharply. He understood why his sister looked so scared.

He reached out, holding her wrist and pulling her to her feet. ”Come with me.”

“Bhaiyu... no.” Radha stopped, pulling back from his grasp. ”Where are you taking me? Main Badi Maa se sign khud le lungi. Aap beech mein mat aaiye, please. (I’ll take Badi Maa’s signature myself. Please don’t get involved.)” She didn’t want to witness yet another brawl between a mother and son.

Arjun shook his head. ”You don’t need to take Mom and Dad’s signature. Bhaiya is there, right… he will do it. He just returned from the studio.”

“No!” Radha stepped back. ”I–I don’t want to ask Bhaiya. I–I mean he must be tired, let him rest. I will ask Bade Papa, he won’t say anything anyway.”

“Bhaiya will sign this, Radha, and that’s final,” Arjun stated firmly. He grasped her wrist gently, leaving no room for argument.

Radha held onto the door tightly even before they could step out of the room. ”Bhaiyu please... I told you no. I–I...” She trailed off as Arjun stopped and turned.

“Radha!” Arjun’s tone was stern.

Radha’s fingers loosened on the door handle on their own accord. She couldn’t stand that look from her Bhaiyu. One word from him and she knew how to comply. After all, who would dare go against the mighty Arjun Khadoos Dhanrajgir?

Arjun pulled her with him. If needed, he would himself sign the answer sheet, it wasn’t a big deal as much as it had been made in Radha’s life. But he wanted her to understand that she didn’t need to go around looking for Ronit and Sakshi. Her brothers were there for her now, and more than that, her Bhaiya was there for her now.

Mahir had every right to know about Radha’s scores, her worries, her insecurities, and every tiny detail, like a father who knows every little thing about his child. His bhaiya was doing everything he could; all Radha had to do was take a leap of faith, and he was there to push his sister when needed.

“Bhaiya yaar, nahi hota yeh mujhse. (Bhaiya, I can’t do this anymore.)” They heard Abhi whine as they stepped into Mahir’s room.

Radha’s steps froze, unable to move ahead. The scene before her looked too natural, too domestic, something she had witnessed countless times, but never truly experienced as a part of it.

The sight of her brothers sitting on the bed, doing their own work. The way Mahir set aside his file and leaned forward toward Abhi.

“All you have to do is remember the basic ratios properly,” Mahir explained calmly.

Abhi shook his head stubbornly. ”Why do I even need to solve it step by step, Bhaiya? I can simply write the answer and be done with it.”

He was plainly annoyed. Who on earth even invented maths was beyond his understanding. Each year those annoying numbers did disco dance before his eyes as if enjoying his plight. If he ever got some superpower, he was sure he would make the need to learn such tough mathematics disappear. The basic ones were okay, but trigonometry... he hated it.

“You can’t write an answer like that, Abhi,” Mahir chided softly. ”You have to solve the equation. You are a human being, not a parrot to mug up formulas blindly.”

Abhi cringed. ”How about we continue this later? I need a break!”

Mahir tugged at his ear not so gently. ”I dare you to move from here without solving this.”

Abhi winced. He loved his ears and decided to have mercy on them. “Ji Bhartashree. Jo agya. (Yes, my lord. As you command.)” He bowed his head dramatically.

“Can you explain this again....pleaseeeee,” he pleaded cutely.

“Dramebaaz!” Mahir chuckled shaking his head, pulling the book forward closer to them. ”Okay, let’s not talk about what’s written in your textbook. Try to understand this with a simple example.”

He drew a small right-angled triangle on the notebook. ”See this triangle? Suppose this angle is θ (theta). Now trigonometry simply tells us the relation between the sides of this triangle.”

Abhi squinted at the drawing as if it had personally offended him.

Mahir tapped the sides with his pen. ”This side in front of the angle is called perpendicular. The bottom side is the base. And the longest side is the hypotenuse.”

Abhi nodded slowly.

“Then comes cos θ,” Mahir continued, writing the next line and explaining it step by step in the same calm, patient tone, making sure Abhi followed every small detail before moving ahead.

Abhi listened intently, the blur in his brain slowly fading away as the confusing formulas finally began to make sense.

“Now simply remember this line,” Mahir added casually, ”Practice Before Heroics.”

Abhi blinked. ”Practice... Before... Heroics?” He repeated slowly.

Mahir nodded calmly. ”Perpendicular, Base, Hypotenuse. Just remember the order.”

Abhi stared at the notebook for a moment before sprawling on the bed dramatically. ”The math textbook should come with a disclaimer… we love to test your patience, so don’t lose your sanity while solving us.”

“So that students like you become more lazy…” Arjun said sarcastically, leaning against the door frame, ”Than they already are.”

Mahir looked at them startled. ”Kab aaye tum dono? (When did you two come?)” he asked before glancing at Radha, a soft smile appearing on his face. ”Wahan kyun khadi hai, bacche? Andar aa. (Why are you standing there, baache? Come inside.)”

Radha brushed away her thoughts and walked in. The more she looked at the situation, the more her heart cursed her fate, the more she found herself drowning in what ifs and buts. She had her parents by her side, she should look at the positive side. They weren’t as patient as Mahir was while teaching Abhi, but at least… they… ca-cared.

Uncertainty tried to rise in her heart, but she shoved it away. Yes, they cared. Whatever happened, the arguments, the fights, she was the reason for it, no one else. Her parents cared for her, that’s why they...

“Radha?” Mahir rose to his feet and moved to her side. ”Kya hua? Kisi ne kuch kaha school mein? (What happened? Did someone say something to you in school?)”

Abhi sat up instantly. His sister didn’t look like herself and that worried him. He had made sure to stay by Radha’s side the whole time during recess, even sent an open message to almost everyone, the juniors, his classmates, and even seniors, to stay out of his sister’s way. So the sudden tense look on Radha’s face didn’t sit well with him.

Radha shook her head. “Nothing, Bhaiya. I’m fine.”

“Are you?” Arjun drawled casually, passing the answer sheet he had brought with him to Mahir. ”She’s worried about this, I guess.”

Mahir frowned as he went through the page and sighed. Without a word, he picked up the pen from the bed and signed his name in the guardian section.

Radha blinked, startled, as Mahir forwarded the paper to her. ”Ku–kuch bolna nahi hai aapko? (You… you don’t want to say anything?)”

Mahir looked up at her, mildly confused. ”What do you want me to say? You passed the test, Radha, and that’s good.”

Radha’s face fell. There it was… the partiality. If it had been Abhi, he would have gone bonkers. She was being treated differently, with way too much care and precautions, and she hated that feeling.

“You want me to scold you, Radha?” Mahir asked, tilting her face up gently. He didn’t like the sadness swirling in his child’s eyes.

Radha’s gaze dropped, the answer clear in her silence.

“Radha, you passed the exam,” Mahir said patiently, ”You didn’t fail or score average marks. And neither was it your finals. It was a monthly exam. I noticed where you lost the marks. Next time just make sure you don’t make the same mistake again and you will score better than this.”

Radha nodded silently.

Mahir looked at Arjun. Was he doing something wrong? Was he approaching it the wrong way? He knew what Payal had made Radha feel countless times when the girl lost even half a mark for a small grammar mistake, but he wasn’t like that. He was okay with anything or everything. Even if Radha failed, he would never scold her for something so small that could hit her self-esteem. He would help her balance and try to understand what went wrong.

“She didn’t want to get the signatures from you,” Arjun provided quietly. He knew how much his Bhaiya was struggling to find a ground between Radha’s fears and his own protective instincts, a middle ground to make Radha move forward without imposing anything on her. But communication was the most important part of it all, and he was there to fill in that gap.

Mahir looked at his sister. ”Why?”

Radha shook her head, still staring at the floor.

Mahir held her hand and guided her to the couch, sitting beside her. ”Ab bata kya hua hai. (Now tell me what’s bothering you.) And stop saying nothing. I can read you like an open book, Radha. Batayegi nahi toh Bhaiya ko samajh kaise aayega, baccha. (If you don’t tell me, how will I understand, baccha?) Don’t think about what I will feel. Just tell me what you are feeling… what is going on in your head.”

Radha fidgeted with her fingers nervously. ”I could have failed,” her tone laced with uncertainty. ”I passed with average, Bhaiya.”

She looked at Mahir, meeting his gaze. ”I—I think my phone… I have been using it a lot. Even me reading my novels… I think I should stop wasting my time like this. Aise toh main finals mein pakka fail ho jaungi. (This way is will definitely fail in finals.) Dad and Mom will…” She stopped abruptly, realizing she was about to expose something that should never come out.

“Mom and Dad will what, Radha?” Arjun probed gently.

Radha averted her gaze. ”Ge–get angry.”

Mahir looked at Abhi. ”Bring two rough pages here.”

Abhi complied without a word, picking up his rough he took out two pages, rolling off the bed. He passed the papers to his brother.

Mahir scribbled down a math equation, a basic one yet hard enough to make them think for a moment. He passed one paper to Abhi and the other to Radha.

“Solve this,” He ordered. ”Both of you.”

Radha and Abhi exchanged a look. They glanced at Mahir, unsure what had gotten into their elder brother so unexpectedly. They were going off track from the actual topic. Nevertheless, they did what they were told.

Abhi sat down, sprawled on the rug and started scribbling the numbers with a dramatic sigh, solving the equation, while Radha sat quietly on the couch, her brows knitting together in concentration as she worked through the steps carefully.

Five minutes later Radha was done with her answer and passed the sheet to her Bhaiya.

Abhi took another five minutes, stretching, doodling in the corner of the page, and finally completing it. He also passed the sheet to Mahir.

Mahir went through the solutions silently. A small smile crept onto his lips. He looked at his sister. ”Do you even realize you solved an eleventh-class algebra equation within five minutes?”

Radha looked at him stunned. She hadn’t expected that from herself. She wasn’t a fan of maths... heck, she even cried while solving her own class equations, but she practiced a lot, finding different problems and cracking them step by step until she finally understood them.

“Wow!” Abhi squealed, ”You gave us the same equation. Which means I too cracked an eleventh-class level equation.”

He grinned widely. ”See? I am a born genius.”

“From the bottom,” Mahir drawled dryly. ”Agar aisa tu apne board exam mein likhega toh examiner tera paper jalana pasand karega. (If you write like this in your board exam, the examiner would rather burn your paper.) Are you a toddler to doodle on it?”

Abhi rubbed his nape, embarrassed. ”Arey I was confused and thought to open my mind. Doodling helps with that, Bhaiya.”

Arjun whacked him hard. ”Teri doodling ke chakkar mein kisi din mere haath se bahut peetega tu. (Because of this doodling of yours, one day you’re going to have it from me.) I asked you to stop this nonsense habit. Your notes are filled with these stupid circles on every page. If you make this kind of mistake in your exams… I swear I won’t spare you, Abhi.”

Abhi rubbed the sting, annoyed. Both his brothers just didn’t know when to stop. If one tried to calm down, the other one walked into grumpy bear mode. Poor him... all he could do was suck it up!

Mahir shook his head before looking at Radha, who sat there silently. He cradled her face gently, making her look at him.

“Did you understand why I asked you both to solve this equation?” he asked softly.

Radha shook her head.

“Radha, jaise main music mein accha hoon (Radha, just like I am good at music,)” Mahir’s tone softened, ”Jaise Arjun apne defence mein accha hai as a lawyer, jaise Abhi ko games aur coding pasand hai, waise hi tu apne IQ level par apni studies aur painting mein acchi hai. (Just like Arjun is good at defending people as a lawyer, and Abhi enjoys games and coding, in the same way you are good at your studies and painting according to your own ability.) Everyone has their own level of grasping things. No one is born dumb, Radha. People just learn and absorb things differently depending on the situation.”

He held her hand in his, ”Just because you scored a few marks less in your exam doesn’t mean you didn’t try your best. You gave it your all, and that’s what matters more than the results. We can’t score perfectly all the time. Sometimes scoring less, or even failing, is okay.”

Abhi blinked. ”Isse yeh logic sikhne ke liye aapne meri insult ki, Bhaiya? (Did you insult me just to teach her this logic, Bhaiya) So not fair!” he huffed dramatically.

Mahir ignored the boy and met Radha’s gaze. ”Jo yahan nahi hain unke baare mein soch kar tu apna aaj kharab kar rahi hai, bacche. (You’re ruining your present by thinking about people who aren’t even here, baache.) And that’s not fair to you. Look at him.”

He pointed at Abhi. ”Even though he got scolded and was late in solving, he is still smiling and sulking. That’s the important part, bacche. It should be us who decide what we have to feel in which situation and how much we have to feel. You should not let anyone’s expectations spoil your mood.”

Radha leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her Bhaiya. He was right, it should be her who had to decide how much those thoughts controlled her mind. What her parents thought, what they were about to do, their ultimatums… everything could go to hell. They weren’t there anymore to dictate every breath of her life. She knew each and everything, but the assurance in her brother’s words always calmed the storm inside her heart.

For the first time in years when Radha went to sleep, there weren’t tears or her cursing herself for being so incapable. The dreams that haunted her faded away.

All she could see was a flying butterfly she was chasing after, who flew freely from one bloom to another and dropped at each flower enjoying the fragrance of every petal, again and again... yet to find the destination it truly belonged to, just like her!

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