Chapter- 34

Radha pulled back from the hug and looked at her brother, her joy touching the sky, yet laced with disbelief, she hadn’t expected that.

“Aap aaoge mere saath? (You will come with me?)” She asked, her eyes teary.

Mahir pulled back, turning to leave. Radha instinctively reached out, holding his hand.

“Are you upset?” Her tone faltered.

Mahir turned around silently, staring her down. He wasn’t angry, just hurt. After doing everything he could to reassure her, to give her security, to show her she could come to him with anything… what was the result? Radha had still chosen to hide something so important from him. If Abhi hadn’t told him, he was sure Radha would have been quite hiding about the competition.

Mahir was trying very hard to understand his sister, to make himself believe that Radha wasn’t used to it, she wasn’t used to being given a choice, to being heard without fear. But at the end of the day, he found himself questioning… where exactly was he going wrong? No matter how much he tried to bridge the gap between them, there was still a part of her that refused to trust him completely.

Radha looked down, ”Bhaiya, I-I…” She trailed off. She didn’t have any explanation to give. She had once again done something she had promised him she wouldn’t.

Mahir pulled back and walked away. Maybe he was breaking the resolve he himself had made, he had told himself not to force Radha, to let her be, to give her time and space to open up on her own. But with each passing day, the progress felt painfully slow, and he didn’t know what more he needed to do so that Radha could believe him.

Radha sat down on the bed, palming her face. Why was it so hard to take the first step? The moment she told herself that she would move forward without any remorse, the very next second an opportunity would come, and she would falter, stepping back as if she hadn’t just promised herself to move on and face everything head-on.

Her heart still trembled at the idea of being a bad omen in her Bhaiya’s life. It wasn’t like she was unaware of what her brother was doing for her, of what he was offering her. But she still held herself back, fearing she might create more distance between Mahir and Ronit, between Mahir and Sakshi.

They resented her, hated her, and their son was siding with the same person who they blamed for everything that went wrong. She didn’t want that. She wanted love. She still craved what her Bhaiya was offering her without any conditions, yet she couldn’t fully accept it.

Arjun entered the room, startling her. Radha wiped away her tears and rose to her feet.

“Why are you crying?” Arjun asked, worried, moving to her side.

Radha shook her head. It was between her and her Bhaiya, she would make it up to him on her own.

“What happened, Radha?” Arjun’s voice softened as he made her look up. ”Did Bhaiya said something?”

Radha’s eyes filled up. She hugged him tightly, burying her face in his chest. “I wish he would have.” Her voice barely above a whisper.

Her Bhaiya was angry, she would have been okay with him yelling at her. But this was the second time he had chosen silence and walked away. She wasn’t used to that and didn’t know how to grovel. Her parents used to yell to their hearts’ content, declare the consequences, and she would apologize. There was no change in the cycle.

But with her brother, he didn’t even like hearing apologies from her, and that left her feeling even more lost and helpless.

Arjun sighed, holding her closer to his heart. He had read the unspoken hurt in Mahir’s eyes when he was coming there. He tried asking what happened, but his bhaiya shrugged it away. But now that he saw Radha’s upset face, he was sure something serious had occurred.

He wanted to probe it out but held back. Radha needed to learn their brother’s ways. What she was used to wasn’t healthy or right, it was high time she let go of her inhibitions and took a step forward. Even if she stumbled, they would have her back.

“You need to visit the doc,” He murmured quietly. ”Are you ready?”

Radha pulled back, startled, looking up at him. ”Bhaiya? He told me he would take me there?”

“He went back to office,” Arjun replied casually, ”I think koi meeting aa gayi hogi so…”

Radha looked away, hiding the tears that fogged her eyes again. He was angry, that’s why he chose this way to punish her… Maybe he finally realized that she was a lost case and started to distance himself, finally giving up on her… soon he would...

Her thoughts came to a halt as her phone pinged with a notification. Radha opened the message…

I forgot about the meeting that I myself arranged. For today go with Arjun, from next week I will be the one to take you there. Promise.

“What happened?” Arjun almost panicked as tears trickled down her face.

Radha shook her head, wiping away the tears harshly. She rose to her feet. “I will change and come. Then we will leave.”

“Radha…” Arjun tried to call out but she walked away into the washroom. What the hell happened?

Radha leaned back against the door, tears continuing to spill over. Why couldn’t her Bhaiya give her even a single moment to judge him, a chance to pull away and curse her fate that she didn’t deserve love or care?

Why did he have to be so damn understanding, always finding ways to stand by her despite being angry with her?

How was she supposed to handle the love that came wrapped in patience and quiet understanding, not in anger and harsh words?

✨✨✨

Ajay’s cabin was supposed to be warm and welcoming, but it felt suffocating. Before coming there, her bhaiyu had forced her to eat her meal, she wasn’t even hungry. After everything that had happened, she was too overwhelmed to swallow even one morsel, but her brother didn’t know the meaning of backing down. That one chapati felt like she had eaten ten.

Radha fidgeted with her fingers, staring at everything except the man sitting before her. Her veins were flooded with a cocktail of emotions, she was frustrated, annoyed, angry… she wanted to cry her heart out, scream at the top of her lungs, let everything out, but here she was, sitting calmly because she didn’t wish to embarrass herself like a fool. She would be meeting the man more than once, it was better she saved her dignity.

“Do want to say something?” Ajay asked gently.

He had been noticing her for the last fifteen minutes, she was restless and distracted, fidgeting with her fingers, tapping her heels. Her puffed eyes told a story of their own, and so did the way she kept opening her mouth and then closing it again, as if wanting to say something and then holding herself back at the last moment.

Radha shook her head quickly.

Ajay leaned forward, resting his hand lightly on the table, “We can sit here for an hour without talking. I like silence, but I don’t think you do... not when your mind is this loud. Talking helps, Radhika. I am not saying to speak something perfectly framed. Just whatever you want… that you have been trying to gather the courage to say. Even if you fumble with your words, it’s okay. I am not here to judge you... I am here to listen to you.”

Radha stared at him. ”You won’t mind if I curse?”

Ajay shook his head with a faint smile. ”There is no human being on this planet who hasn’t cursed. The typical ‘you don’t speak like that’ thing… I don’t believe in it. Even aliens might have their own language of curses, so does animals, so why can’t we humans?”

Radha sighed. The man used some twisted logic. She wasn’t interested in cursing at him or anyone, she preferred cursing herself and her luck, not others.

“I—I…” She trailed off, not knowing where to start.

Therapists were supposed to question, to probe, and then guide their patients. But Ajay worked differently, he wanted her to speak first. He was giving her time be adjust be comfortable. She didn’t know how to begin.

“Bhaiya… Bhaiya signed my school event form.” Radha’s tone was laced with hesitation. She looked down at her hands. ”In my school, every year the students and their parents participate. The one who wins gets their name engraved on the trophy, and it’s kept on display till the next year’s event. This is my first time… and Bhaiya signed it to participate with me.”

Ajay’s brows furrowed. ”And you don’t like it?”

Radha shook her head immediately, looking at him. ”I—I love it. In fact, I don’t even know how to describe what I am feeling. It’s like I am flying high in the sky, ready to grab those stars that once felt so far away from me. Agar bhaiya ne guardian ke column mein sign kiya hota toh main khush hoti… but unhone mujhe ek aisa tohfa diya jiski umeed karna maine bahut pehle hi chhod diya tha. (If Bhaiya had signed in the guardian column, I would have been happy… but he gave me a gift that I had stopped hoping for a long time ago.)”

She looked at him with teary eyes and a trembling smile, ”He signed in the father’s column! He has been doing everything a father should… what my father should have done for me. Crazy, right? It’s not like my own father loved me. It’s just… what Bhaiya is giving me so freely makes me want to pull away… run from it… I—I…”

“Push it away before it gets taken away from you.” Ajay filled in the words she wasn’t able to put together.

Radha nodded slowly.

“But pulling away from the very person who is trying to give you love… is it right, Radhika?” Ajay asked quietly, ”Maybe you can try and hold on to it and step forward without looking back, rather than clinging to your fears.”

Silence was the only response he received.

“If you don’t mind, can I ask... how did your parents pass away?” Ajay inquired gently, choosing his words carefully.

Radha averted her gaze. ”In an accident.” She gave a self-deprecating smile. “I wish I had known how to undo it all… and just end it.  If I would have known… I wouldn’t have let that happen.”

Ajay stilled, he could clearly hear the weight behind her words, there was something he wasn’t able to fully point at.

“And why do you think you can control the unknown?” He questioned calmly, ”Even if you had known… are you sure you would have been able to stop the accident, Radhika?”

Radha nodded. ”I would have tried… at least.”

“No, Radhika.” Ajay shook his head firmly. ”Agar kal kya hone wala hai hume pata chal jaaye, toh hum apne aaj ko bhi kharab kar dete hain. (If we come to know what’s going to happen tomorrow, we end up ruining our today) In the end, we can’t live in the present, and we destroy the future too.”

Radha looked away. She didn’t agree. The course of nature couldn’t be changed, and time couldn’t be controlled by anyone, she had read that enough in her novels. But she also believed in fate and second chances.

Ajay leaned back in his chair. He could clearly see that the girl didn’t agree with him. In years of experience and dealing with many teens and adults, Radha was different, he could give her that. She was far more mature than her age. She told him she read books. Her interest in novels was both a boon and a bane.

The knowledge came as power, but the fictional and non-fictional worlds she believed in blurred into reality. Radha absorbed both the negative and positive, analysing everything deeply rather than simply enjoying it. And the way her parents had dealt with her of what Mahir had informed him about… that too had shaped her. It was as if she believed in being perfect and in control.

So her being like this was natural.

He sighed, he needed to approach this differently. Ajay looked at Radha. ”So, hypothetically, if I give you a situation… can you tell me what you would do in that?”

Radha nodded.

Ajay leaned forward. ”Who do you love the most in your family?”

“My brothers,” Radha replied instantly, a soft smile adorning her lips.

Ajay nodded. ”So agar tumhe pata chal jaaye ki kal tumhare teenon bhaiyon mein se kisi ek ka accident hone wala… (So if you come to know that tomorrow one of your three brothers will meet with an accident…) then what will you...”

“SIR!” Radha interrupted angrily. How could he even say that?

Ajay sighed. ”I said hypothetically. Aur jo tum sun bhi nahi pa rahi ho, usse control kaise karogi, Radhika? (And something you can’t even bear to hear, how will you ever control that, Radhika?)”

Radha looked away, her face flushing ”Sorry.”

Ajay shook his head. ”No need for that. Just remember one thing, Radhika. In the process of wanting to control our future, we end up destroying our today. Past? It can’t be lived again, nor can it be erased from our system. We can only learn from it… and live in the moment.”

“It’s easier said than done,” Radha murmured under her breath.

Ajay nodded. ”Obviously. But agar koshish nahi karenge, toh pata kaise chalega? (But if we don’t try, how will we ever know?)” He rose to his feet. ”Come with me. I will take you somewhere.”

Radha looked at him, confused yet compelled, following behind him. She paused at the doorway for a fleeting second, as if her feet wanted to turn back, before stepping out of the room. Her steps slowed, as Ajay entered a room two doors away from his cabin. Her gaze lifting to the board outside; Baby Care.

Radha stepped inside. A soft smile formed on her lips as she saw little babies lying in cribs, some newborns, some of two or three years old. The room carried a warmth, Soft murmurs, occasional giggles, and the quiet rustle of movement filled the space.

But what caught her attention the most, none of them were alone. Each child had a nurse beside them, tending to their needs with quiet care and practiced ease. Radha’s smile slowly faded into confusion. Something about it didn’t add up.

She walked towards a crib and looked at the nurse who was playing with the little one. ”Can I hold him?” she asked politely.

The nurse glanced at Ajay for permission. As the latter nodded, she carefully placed the baby in Radha’s arms.

Radha held him gently, almost instinctively careful. He looked like a little angel fallen straight from heaven. She pulled him closer, soaking in his warmth. As his chubby hands tapped against her cheeks, she let out a soft chuckle, completely smitten by the boy.

“Aapka naam kya hai? (What is your name?)” Radha asked in a baby voice, only to chide herself the next second. The little one looked barely two years old, she wasn’t even sure if babies started talking properly by then or not.

“Krishna,” The nurse replied softly. ”He can’t listen,” she added, a hint of sadness in her tone.

Radha froze. Her eyes slowly lifted to Ajay, silently seeking confirmation. As he nodded, Radha’s eyes welled up instantly.

“H—his parents?” Radha’s heart pounded in her chest as she asked the question.

“They left him as they didn’t want a burden,” Ajay replied, caressing the baby’s face lovingly. ”He suffers from auditory neuropathy an hearing impairment, and there is no treatment for it.”

Radha’s eyes glinted with tears. Each parent was selfish. First, they gave birth to a child… then they tagged it as a mistake just because they were incapable of understanding their own child, and then left them at their convenience. Or worse, kept them only to leave behind scars for a lifetime. She pulled the baby closer to her heart. He didn’t deserve that. Tears threatened to fall, but she forced them back.

“Don’t cry, Radhika,” Ajay’s tone was gentle yet firm, patting her shoulder. ”Just because his parents did injustice to him doesn’t mean he won’t live his life or survive. Look around this room. Each child kept here has been left behind by their parents or relatives…”

Radha gasped, shocked. There were more than fifteen babies. How could someone be so cruel?

Ajay took Krishna in his arms, kissing his cheeks softly. ”He is soon going to get adopted. The formalities are in process,” he informed quietly.

The girl had a heart of gold. Most people would wail and drown in their own suffering, believing they had faced the worst, but Radha wasn’t like that. Even in the middle of her own pain, her instinct was to feel for others first, to look beyond herself.

And that was exactly why he had brought her here. She needed to understand that pain doesn’t make her the only victim in the world.... everyone, in their own way, is fighting a battle. Just like them all she was also in the process of healing!

Radha nodded. She didn’t have anything to say. She just prayed to the almighty that these babies would go to loving homes, that they would have a family filled with warmth and acceptance, nothing less than that.

She looked at Ajay, puzzled. ”Why did you bring me here?”

Ajay chuckled softly,  ”Getting smart, are we?”

Radha sighed. It wasn’t that she was getting smart… it was just that she was starting to understand Ajay. They were meeting for only the second time, and he had already started reading her beyond her words, understanding what she couldn’t even say out loud. He was her therapist… okay, scratch that; he was her doc. That sounded better! And every action of his carried a meaning behind it, something she was beginning to learn.

“I brought you here to let you know that each child in this room is fighting, Radhika.” Ajay held her gaze, his tone calm yet meaningful. ”What happened with these kids, they don’t know it now, or what their family did to them… it won’t matter at one point. In the future, they might feel hurt and angry, but in the end, they will realise that the love given to them by the family they were raised with was as beautiful as a miracle, as precious as a second chance. Sometimes you don’t need answers or reasons… it’s just love that is necessary to survive, move on, and let go.”

“There are thousands of hands extending towards you…” Ajay added quietly, ”few for their own selfishness, few with expectations, few for you to rise you up and stand beside you. Which one you choose, with what intent... love or guilt; that choice is yours alone.”

Radha’s fingers fisted at her dress. Ajay wasn’t telling her to decide immediately… he was simply letting her know what truly mattered, with a silent assurance that it should be her love, not regrets, blame, or fear. Her bhaiya was doing everything from his end, giving her all that he could, and it was her time to take a step forward.

As Ajay’s phone rang, Radha realized it was the end of the session… but she also realized that she couldn’t keep running anymore. Her battles, her insecurities, her fears were hers to face.

Ajay might guide her, her Bhaiya might protect her, Arjun and Abhi might always have her back, but it was her who had to fight for herself… and she would!!!

 

← Previous                               Next →