Chapter- 40

Radha went through her wardrobe like every other girl, trying to find the best outfit she could. It had been two weeks since everything in their house had changed,  the arrangements were going on in full swing. What added to her excitement was that it was her Bhaiya’s birthday at midnight.

The pain from last year, the memories she wanted to forget, still knocked at the corners of her heart, but she had kept them at bay.

In the darkness of the night, she would let herself break, but for now, she would pretend. Her bhaiya didn’t deserve to see her fall apart, not today… not when he was already forgetting about his own happiness for everyone else.

Radha sighed, frustrated. There wasn’t a single dress she had that looked even remotely party-like. What was she supposed to wear in the evening now? All she had were hoodies, loose T-shirts, and baggy jeans, a wardrobe that matched Abhi’s style more than hers. She was a girl, for crying out loud, yet she had never really been given the space to feel like one, always blending into comfort instead of confidence.

She closed the cupboard with a loud bang, slumping down on her chair. She looked at herself in the mirror, even now, she was wearing a hoodie and baggy jeans. She weighed around 69 kgs, with her height about 5’6”, a perfectly healthy build. Other girls her age even admired her figure,her height, yet she was insecure about her body, especially how her clothes clung to her.

Since the topic of the party had come up, that insecurity had only grown stronger, and she had cut down on carbs, surviving on fruits and juices. Even when her bhaiya made her favorite dishes, she had to kill a part of herself to not even look at them, no matter how tempting they were.

She closed her eyes slowly, exhaling as the present blurred into the past… she found herself standing in front of the mirror again, hearing those same taunts echoing , voices picking apart her appearance, her choices, her worth,  until even her reflection didn’t feel like her own anymore.

Payal dragged her, pushing her inside the room without any remorse. It was yet another success party at their mansion, Ronit and Raghav had managed to crack a deal with the Home Minister, a deal that would elevate their company’s position in the market overnight. The lavish arrangements, the glittering chandeliers, live music, and high-profile guests filling the halls, spoke volumes about their status.

However, Radha was asked to stay in the room because no one wanted her ‘bad presence,’ except for her brothers, who as usual fought with their parents. But Radha had cut them off, forcing herself to be rude to them, asking them to mind their own business.

The more she hurt her brothers, especially her bhaiya, the more her guilt and self-loathing grew. She was doing it to keep peace in the house, but in the process, she was hurting the only people who truly loved her… and that was slowly breaking her from within.

“Tujhe kaha hai na room mein rehne ke liye, samajh nahi aata tujhe? (I told you to stay in the room, don’t you understand?)” Payal spat angrily.

Thirteen-year-old Radha looked at her mother sadly. ”Maa, mujhe bhook lagi thi… isliye main... (Mom, I was hungry… that’s why I..)”

“Kuch der ke liye khana nahi khayegi toh mar nahi jayegi, Radhika. (You won’t die if you don’t eat for a while, Radhika.)” Payal fumed. ”Waise bhi you are on intermittent fasting, bhool gayi? (Anyway, you’re on intermittent fasting, did you forget?) You are gaining weight and I don’t want that. Behave like a girl and stop cribbing like a toddler.”

Radha’s eyes filled instantly. ”Mumma…”

“Just shut it.” Payal snapped. “Tujhe kya lagta hai, mujhe accha lag raha hai tujhe yahan room mein band rakhna? Jab sab bahar party mein hain? (Do you think I like keeping you locked in this room while everyone is outside at the party?)”

She dragged Radha toward the dressing mirror. ”Just look at yourself! Do you even deserve to be called my daughter? What are you even wearing? Which girl roams around her own house in loose T-shirts and pajamas like this? You are a Dhanrajgir. Start behaving like one. Look at the girls your age how well thy carry themselves. And here, I have to think a thousand times before buying a dress for you… The brand costs lakhs and represents class and elegance, but on you they look ugly, unflattering and completely out of place.”

Payal went on with her frustration, taking out years of her own insecurities and anger on her own daughter. The words she spoke didn’t motivate Radha to change her style, instead, they made her conscious of what she wore, how she walked, how she talked, how she laughed, sat, ate; every little thing about herself suddenly felt wrong. She was a Dhanrajgir, and for the first time, it felt like a curse more than a privilege.

A knock on the door snapped Radha out of her haze. She turned back as Mahir entered the room…

Mahir walked in with food tray in his hands. He had been noticing for the past few days that Radha had stopped eating her usual meals. She did eat, but not as much as a child her age should, and that bothered him more than he let on.

Radha looked away as Mahir set the tray on the bed. She was tempted, the smell of cheese garlic pasta, her favorite, filled the room, but she forced down the urge to reach for it. She was on a diet.

According to what she had read on the internet, there was a video she had come across, ‘Lose 5 kg in 7 days’. The woman in the video had even shown results, which made Radha more determined to follow it.

“What are you thinking about?” Mahir asked gently, sitting in front of her.

Radha shook her head. ”Nothing. Why did you make this?”

Mahir frowned. ”You like pasta, that’s why. You didn’t even have breakfast properly. Agar yeh nahi khana toh kya chaiye bata. (If you don’t want this, tell me what you want.) I will make it.”

Radha shook her head again. ”I ate as much as I was hungry for, Bhaiya. I’m not hungry anymore…” Her words trailed off as her stomach rumbled in protest, almost as if it was annoyed at her for lying.

Mahir raised an eyebrow, ammused. “Bhook nahi hai? (You’re not hungry?)”

Radha rose to her feet, avoiding Mahir’s gaze. She couldn’t lie to him… but she also couldn’t tell him the truth. ”Saachi bhook nahi hai, Bhaiya. (I am really not hungry, Bhaiya.) Look at the time, it’s already so late. Abhi thodi der mein function ho jayega. (The function will start in a while.) If I eat this now, my calorie intake will increase so much, and I will turn into a balloon by the evening from eating this much.”

“And from when did you start stressing about your calorie intake?” Mahir asked, narrowing his eyes slightly, concern evident in his voice.

Radha remained silent, arranging her study table which was already perfectly systematic. Her brother was giving her enough space, the kind where she could share anything without a second thought, but sometimes, she just hesitated. Not wanting to bother him felt like the safer option.

“Radha?” Mahir stopped her, gently turning her toward him. ”What happened, baacha?”

Radha tried to shake her head, but the edge in his voice, firm yet soft, broke through her defenses. With a resigned sigh, she blurted out, ”I am getting fat, Bhaiya. Main… main yeh nahi kha sakti. Mujhe yeh sab nahi khana chahiye. (I can’t eat this. I shouldn’t eat all this.)”

She turned toward the mirror. ”Look at me! I have gained almost four kilos in the last two months. Earlier, I was strict with my diet and routine, but now I keep eating randomly and not controlling anything. Soon I will look like a baby pig!”

Mahir was too stunned to stop her. His sister being conscious about herself was not new to him, but hearing it out loud like this, raw and harsh, was a first. She was a teenager… what could he say that wouldn’t make her feel invalidated, or worse, make it seem like he pitied her? That was his concern, he didn’t know how to handle this without hurting her more.

He could say the usual things, that she looked pretty, that she didn’t need to change herself, that she was perfect the way she was, but that only worked on those who wanted reassurance. His sister was different. She would overthink every word, and hate hearing something that didn’t align with what she believed about herself.

He was stuck. For the first time, he didn’t know how to encourage Radha. With Abhi or Arjun, he could simply tell his brothers to stop overreacting or get over it, but Radha was different. She was a girl… a girl who was growing, changing, trying to understand herself in a world that kept telling her she wasn’t enough.

And he didn’t want to say anything that could come out wrong… and make her feel even more insecure than she already was.

“Am I disturbing something?” A soft voice floated from behind.

The siblings turned, only to find Shreya at the door with a bag in her hand.

“Come in, Di,” Radha said softly. ”We were just talking.”

Shreya glanced at the pasta and back at Radha. ”Treat and all, huh? Anything special?”

Radha shrugged casually. ”Not a treat, Di. It’s just pasta. Imagine me eating this before the function and ending up all bloated. I already look like a stuffed dumpling, but this will make it worse also.”

Shreya stilled, her smile faltering. She glanced at Mahir, who stood there tense, the casual way Radha had just insulted herself didn’t sit right with either of them.

She stepped forward, making Radha sit on the bed beside her. Taking her hand in hers, she spoke gently, ”You talking down about yourself is not right, Radha. We should accept ourselves for who we are, how we are. But…”

“I know, Di,” Radha cut her off, pulling back from her grasp. ”But how I look at myself won’t change how people look at me. Even if I call myself a castle princess, the truth can’t be hidden that I look more like a maid…”

“Radhika!” Mahir interjected sharply.

Radha looked at him, startled, her words dying in her throat as she read the anger in his eyes.

Mahir cradled her face in his palm, forcing her to meet his gaze. ”I don’t give a damn what others think about you. But I care about what my child thinks about herself. And I won’t allow you to belittle yourself like this. There is nothing wrong with you, and I won’t hear a single word against you, not even from yourself. Clear?”

His anger got the better of him. He was done seeing his sister bring herself down again and again, as if she was trying to break herself before the world could do it for her.

“It’s okay, Mahir,” Shreya intervened, placing a calming hand on his arm. She understood his protectiveness and frustration; in fact, what he said was true, but Radha didn’t just need truth, she needed patience, reassurance, and time to believe it herself.

She took the dress from the bag she had brought and showed it to Radha. ”Kaisi hai yeh? (How is this?)”

Radha’s eyes shone brightly, the ombre-colored long gown, with a perfect blend of shimmer and subtle sparkle, giving it an ethereal look.

She looked at Shreya, eyes wide with disbelief, ”Fo-for me?” she stammered nervously.

Obviously, it wasn’t Shreya’s, the size difference was clear, yet she couldn’t believe that such a beautiful dress was for her. Her mother had always preferred her to wear heavy, traditional outfits, even the colors were either too bright or too dark, with diamonds or pearls on them, something Radha never liked. Her taste was what she was seeing before her eyes, simple, but elegant in its own way, graceful without being overwhelming.

Shreya nodded. ”Tere Bhaiya ne pasand ki hai tere liye. (Your brother chose it for you.) How is it?”

It was Mahir who had been searching online stores, dragging her to different boutiques to find something that matched Radha’s taste, something she was holding onto now.

Not finding what he wanted, he hired a designer, giving him every tiny detail he knew about Radha’s preferences, from the colors she liked to the way she avoided anything too flashy or uncomfortable, and that’s how the dress was made.

Each gesture for Mahir, something that came naturally for his sister, was working as a boon for the man without him realizing how much she was falling for him, harder and deeper with every passing moment.

Radha threw herself at Mahir, hugging him tightly, her eyes fogging with tears. She blinked them away instantly, it was a happy moment for her, and she didn’t want to ruin it with her tears.

“Thank you,” she mumbled.

“Angrez chale gaye aur tujhe yeh ‘thank you’ ‘sorry’ sikha ke gaye, (The British may have left, but they taught you all this ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry,’ didn’t they?)” Mahir grumbled, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

He didn’t do things to get praised or anything, he did what felt right. Truth be told, he had even asked Shreya not to tell Radha about the dress, but the women in his life loved to spill his efforts and make a big deal out of them.

Shreya shot him an apologetic look. She knew he didn’t want Radha to find out, not wanting to overwhelm her, but she did it because it would distract Radha from her negative thoughts about herself.

They could give her thousands of words of reassurance and comfort, but it had to be Radha who needed to believe in herself on her own terms, not just because others told her to. It would take time, but Radha would learn to see herself the way the people who loved her did.

✨✨✨

Chandeliers glowed like scattered constellations across the grand hall, their golden light cascading over marble floors polished to perfection.

The soft hum of live music blended with the clinking of glasses, laughter echoing through every corner of the mansion. Guests flocked in, draped in designer outfits, diamonds catching the light with every movement, conversations flowing as effortlessly as the wine in their hands.

The air carried a mix of expensive perfumes and celebration, every detail screaming opulence. Staff moved around seamlessly, trays in hand, attending to every need before it was even spoken.

Ronit stood at the center of the hall, attending the VVIPs, his posture in itself commanding authority and quiet dominance. His eyes, however, drifted toward Mahir every other minute, who stood in a corner with Arjun and Abhi.

He wanted his son beside him, at the center where he belonged, but that didn’t seem possible. Already, he had agreed to the party, Ronit should be grateful for that. Before the night ended, Ronit was determined to make the right decision and pull Mahir back into the place he truly deserved, beside him.

“Where is Radha?” Abhi hissed, annoyed. ”I am getting bored.”

Arjun whacked his head lightly. ”Is she a joker or something that she will entertain you? Don’t you have manners about how to talk about your sister?”

Abhi glared at him. ”I am getting bored doesn’t mean I am making fun of her. I asked because at least she will give me company, talk to me, unlike my two hulk-like brothers, who are standing here scaring every other human being who just looks your way.”

“Better than blabbering nonsense like you,” Arjun countered. ”I am not interested in talking about share prices or business politics.”

Abhi chuckled softly. He agreed, his bhaiyu was a lawyer, a profession everyone should be proud of; he admired him for choosing his own path. But growing up in a business-oriented family, being the son of one of the most powerful men came with a baggage, people believed in legacy and expectations rather than choices.

He had seen his bhaiya struggle with that, and even his bhaiyu, but both his brothers stood firm in their decisions, never letting their parents decide their destiny. That was what he admired about them the most.

“Here she comes!” He squealed, excited, as Radha descended gracefully down the stairs.

Mahir spun around with a smile, which wiped off the moment he noticed his sister dressed in a heavily embellished gown, loud and overly grand, not something he had chosen for her.

Arjun frowned. ”Why is she...?”

“No one will ask her anything,” Mahir cut him off firmly. He shot a warning look at his brother. ”Am I clear?”

Arjun nodded instantly. When his bhaiya spoke like that, it meant an order, not a suggestion. However, that didn’t mean he wasn’t hurt. He had witnessed Mahir going bonkers for one dress, putting in efforts no one had ever seen him put for anything else, but now, seeing Radha choose to wear something else than what her brother had picked, stung more than he expected.

Even in a room full of people, Radha found her brothers instantly, their presence commanding attention without effort, like they owned the space they stood in.

With hesitant steps, she approached them, nervous and anxious. What she wore was not something her bhaiya had chosen for her.

Before coming, she had collided with Sakshi. The moment her badi maa noticed what she was wearing, she spat out how cheap and inappropriate it looked, how the dress didn’t match their class, the function, how it looked too simple and underwhelming.

Sakshi thrust an expensive designer gown into her hands, ordering her to change. Not being able to deny, she did what was asked, silently giving in like she always did, knowing she was once again hurting her bhaiya by choosing the people who hated her over the ones who cherished her.

“You look beautiful, baacha,” Mahir said softly, as soon as Radha came and stood before him.

He could keep his hurt aside, he didn’t mind what she wore as long as she was here. She came to the party, that was the first step toward facing things instead of hiding, and he should be happy about that rather than imposing himself on her choices.

Radha bit her lips nervously. He meant those words, there was a genuine warmth in his voice, but that didn’t hide the hurt lingering in his eyes. She so wanted to dissolve… and that guilt weighed heavier than anything else.

“Will you have something?” Abhi asked casually, trying to lighten the mood, ”Thank God tu gayi nahi toh mein pagal ho jaata in dono ke saath. (Thank God you didn’t leave, or I would have gone crazy with these two.)”

Radha nodded quietly. She glanced at Arjun, who wasn’t even looking her way. There was only one thing the three of them shared in common, never hurt their bhaiya, no matter what it cost them.

And if any one of them did, they chose silence to show their displeasure. She had done that countless times with him… and now, maybe it was his turn. After all, she had done the one thing they all never wanted, hurting the man who meant the world to them.

Mahir noticed the tension between them and sighed deeply. It was overwhelming to be loved this fiercely, to be respected like he was some authority they couldn’t question. His siblings’ loyalty toward him was unwavering, but it also came with its own weight.

He understood their emotions, their hurt, their protectiveness, but he couldn’t let it create distance between them. He had to balance their love and their individuality, and he would.

“Come with me,” Mahir said, guiding Abhi away. It was rare, but he grateful that Abhi didn’t know about what’s going on, or the boy would have reacted far more loudly compared to Arjun’s silent response.

Radha reached out, holding Arjun’s hand in hers, but he stepped back. ”Bhaiyu…” She whispered quietly.

Arjun casually picked up a glass of champagne from a passing waiter, his expression unreadable, but just as he tried to drink it, Radha snatched it away from him.

“Bhaiyu, please. It’s wine,” she hissed, annoyed. ”Can we talk?”

Arjun held her gaze. ”Bhaiya brought a dress for you, yet you wore something that is neither his pick nor something you are comfortable in.”

“I am fine,” Radha mumbled, averting her gaze.

“Paanch minute hue tujhe neeche aake aur das baar tu apne sleeves theek kar chuki hai. (It’s only been five minutes since you came downstairs, and you’ve already adjusted your sleeves ten times.)” Arjun snapped. ”Jhooth bolna hai? Mujhse nazrein milake bol, Radhika. (You want to lie? Then look me in the eye and say it, Radhika.)”

Radha looked down. He was right, the sharp edges from inside the embroidery and lining were biting into her skin. She hated that kind of fabric and heavy work, but she was used to that endurance. Within an hour or so, she would adjust with that discomfort like always.

Arjun snatched the glass back from her grasp, and Radha let him. She just wanted him to talk, not stop him from drinking. Anyway, her bhaiyu didn’t drink, Mahir never allowed it, but she had seen him drink in their bhaiya’s absence, just a little to loosen up. Byt she didn’t rat it out, siblings keep secrets, not expose each other.

“Gussa ho? (Are you angry?)” She asked, poking his arm cutely.

Arjun shot a sharp glare. ”Go and change. And I won’t be angry.”

Radha looked away. She couldn’t. Her badi maa would make a fuss later. It was better to live in peace than create chaos that might unfold.

“By the way, who even brought you...” Arjun trailed off as realization dawned on him.

He turned Radha toward him. ”Mom gave you this?”

Silence was the only answer, and also the truth he received loud and clear.

Arjun shook his head in disbelief. ”Wow. Like seriously, Radhika? Ab bhi tere liye mom ke words zayda manye rakhte hai na ki bhaiya ki iccha? Unki feelings kuch nahi hai na tere liye? (Even now, Mom’s words matter more to you than Bhaiya’s wishes? His feelings mean nothing to you?) All you want is to avoid the drama at home, and in that process you can hurt Bhaiya a thousand times, knowing he will always keep you first, keep your happiness above everything else.”

Radha shook her head vigorously. ”It’s not like that, Bhaiyu. Please, I don’t want another fight at home. Things are finally settling down with difficulty. I did what I thought was right. I wasn’t able to say no to Badi Maa. She…”

“You could have called me then,” Arjun countered instantly, frustration evident in his voice. ”You didn’t want to say no, fine. Par mujhe ek message kar deti, and I would have come. I would have...”

“You would have fought,” Radha cut him off, agitated. ”You would have gotten angry and had an argument…”

“Better than you hurting the person who loves you the most just to keep others comfortable,” Arjun hissed angrily.

He was pissed off. Radha thought about all the pros and cons, but not what her brothers actually wanted from her. She thought about their fights with their parents, believing she was the cause, despite knowing it was their choice to stand for their sister, to shield and protect her. She wasn’t imposing on them, they did all that because they loved her enough to fight the world for her without expecting anything in return.

He stepped back. ”You know, Radhika… you’re right. You should, in fact, think about everyone... the whole world, except the people who actually care for you.”

Turning on his heels, he walked away. One more minute, and he would have said something he wouldn’t be able to take back. Better to walk away now than regret his words later.

Radha stared at his retreating figure, hurt lingering in her eyes, tears burning at the back of her eyes. What did she do so wrong? She chose peace over fights, was that her fault now?

She was done seeing her brothers constantly clashing with their parents because of her, but no, her bhaiyu would always think she is wrong, no matter what. He was supposed to understand her like her bhaiya did. She knew Mahir was hurt, but he understood her enough that he didn’t question her choices or put her in a position where she had to explain herself.

What she herself wasn’t realizing was that in trying to avoid conflicts, she was slowly becoming the reason for a different kind of distance, the one where her brothers felt shut out, unheard, and replaced by the very people they were trying to protect her from.

Radha turned to leave when the whispers reached her ears,  soft, but sharp enough to pierce through everything else.

“Apne maa-baap ko gaye hue kuch mahine hi hue hain, aur dekho toh is ladki ko…. (It’s only been a few months since her parents passed away, and just look at this girl…)” One woman muttered, her voice dripping with judgment as she adjusted her expensive saree

“She’s attending a party, laughing… celebrating. As if she feels no grief over her parents’ death.” Another added with a scoff, taking a slow sip of her drink.

“Kids these days have no values at all.” Third one chimed in, shaking her head disapprovingly. ”Her mother did so much for her… and look at her, not even a single tear.” 

“This is what happens when children are pampered too much.” The first one whispered, lips curling. “Kal ko property mil jayegi, tab toh aur zyada rang badlegi yeh ladki, dekh lena, (Once she gets the property, she will change even more, just wait and watch.)”

“Forget it… what can we even expect from kids these days? Whether parents are alive or dead, it doesn’t matter to them.” The last one sighed dramatically.

A soft, mocking chuckle followed, quiet, but loud enough for Radha to hear every word.

She blinked rapidly, her fingers fisting the fabric of her dress in a tight grip as if holding herself together from falling apart right there.

That’s why she was always careful, measured, distant, invisible in crowded rooms. She didn’t laugh, she didn’t talk to strangers, she had barely stepped out, and people were already judging her, tearing her apart without knowing a single truth about her.

Soon, more eyes would turn, more whispers would follow, more versions of her story would be created without her even being a part of it.

Quietly, she turned and walked away. She deserved to be in her room, hidden, unseen, away from a world that only knew how to misunderstand her.

“You are absolutely right, Mrs. Goenka…” Shreya’s calm voice cut through their whispers, making all of them stiffen as they turned toward her.

She stepped closer, a polite smile resting on her lips, one that didn’t quite reach her eyes. ”Bachon se kya hi umeed rakhe, jab bade hi itne batameez ho… dusron ke ghar ki party mein aake, unka khana kha kar, unhi ke ghar walon ki gossip kartein ho. (What can we even expect from children when adults themselves are so ill-mannered… coming to someone else’s party, eating their food, and gossiping about their own hosts.)”

Sherya paused, just enough for her words to sink in. The women exchanged glances, now visibly uncomfortable.

“Quite interesting, no? The most famously shameful thing to do.” Sherya tilted her head slightly, her tone still soft, but the edge unmistakable.

Her gaze moved across each of them, measured and unwavering. ”Waise, aap logon ke gharon mein bhi bacche honge… (You all must have children at home as well…)” Her tone sharp and firm, ”Just a small curiosity , do you teach them this as well? Or is this behavior reserved only for occasions like this?”

The smile remained, but it turned colder now. ”Because if that’s the case… then I understand why you expect so little from children.”

The women glanced at each other, embarrassed.

Shreya gave a slight nod, as if the conversation was over. ”Enjoy the party, ladies. And yes… try a little self-respect sometimes. It suits people.”

She walked away without a backward glance, leaving the gossipers and their stunned, speechless faces behind.

She hated that they were even invited to the party , if it were in her hands, she would have dragged them out of the gate by their hair for daring to speak about Radha like that in her own house. Bloody hypocrites who couldn’t handle their own shit yet fed on someone else’s pain to feel superior.

She looked around, searching for Mahir. She had noticed the way Radha walked away, if she wanted, she could go after her, but it wasn’t her place. It should be Mahir who needed to know what had occurred. Only he could reach through Radha’s walls, the silence she hid behind and the pain she never voiced out loud.

 

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