Chapter- 12

 Radha curled up in her bed as the sharp pain shot up in her abdomen. She could already see what was coming and hated it with vengeance. The realization that she was all alone without any help or a person to talk to saddened her future. Her mother believed that talking about menstrual to men in the house or even bringing up that topic before them was wrong and embarrassing.

Though Radha agreed with latter part, not former one but kept her thoughts to herself, knowing she had no say in that.

She had just rushed out of the washroom and crashed on her bed, wrapping herself in her comforter. It was already 7:45; by this time, she usually got ready to leave for school, but today she wasn't in that condition. The cramps were awfully painful and didn't let her move even a bit.

She wished she could have a heating bag with her that could soothe the ache in her stomach. Adding to her misery was that she didn't have any sanitary pads in stock; the last one she had, she used. What could she do now?

Her eyes filled up helplessly.

"Radha?" Mahir's soft voice startled her.

"The door is open," Radha blurted out as Mahir knocked on the door.

Mahir walked inside; a frown creased his forehead as he found her tucked in her blanket. "What happened?" his tone laced with worry. As he took a step towards the bed, he stopped, seeing Radha's hesitant face. "What’s wrong, baache? Tell me."

Radha looked down, flushed. She would have asked him to call Sakshi, but her Badi Maa was out of town for two days, the reason unknown to Radha. So it was just the Dhanrajgir men's in the house. The thought of asking a staff member too crossed her mind, but she had heard them gossiping enough that she didn't wish to become a hot topic, making a fool out of herself.

Slowly she raised her eyes and looked at Mahir, who stood there patiently, giving her time to gather her thoughts. If it would have been her father, he would have snapped at her and walked out angrily. Her brother was a saint!

"Sherya di se baat karni hai (I need to talk to Sherya di)," Radha said slowly. "Can you call her?"

Sherya was her Bhaiya's best friend, but also the kind of person who radiated warmth, attracting people without her meaning to. Radha knew if she needed to save herself from embarrassment, she needed to ask someone who could help her rather than judge her, and Sherya was her best option.

Mahir complied without a word and dialed the number, forwarding the phone towards Radha.

She looked at him unsure. "Ca—can you wait outside please?"

Mahir, although puzzled by the sudden change in his sister's behavior, listened and walked out. Since last night, he had been seeing how his sister had closed off from him all over again. When he thought it was just him, as he brought up the topic of therapy, Radha shocked him by avoiding both Arjun and Abhi too, which was so unusual of her nature, and it also hinted at how strong her sister's resolve was.

"Hello," Sherya's soft voice filled the room as Radha put the call on speaker.

"Di, aap kahan ho? (Di, Where are you?)" Radha asked hesitantly.

"Radha? How are you, baacha? What made you think of me all of a sudden today?" Sherya asked warmly.

"I—I’m fine, di… I just needed a little help from you."

"Haan, bolo na kya hua? Tu theek hai? (Yeah, tell me what happened? Are you okay?) And Mahir, where is he?" Sherya's voice laced with concern.

"Everything’s fine, di. It's just that I'm on my period and need sanitary napkins. Actually, Badi Maa is not at home, so I didn’t know what to do, that’s why I disturbed you. I’m so sor…”

"It's okay, Radha," Sherya interjected calmly. "I understand, and you didn't disturb me, but, I'm out of station. How about you pass the phone to Mahir? I will explain to him for you."

Radha bit her lips nervously. "But di... maine aaj tak Bhaiya se ya kisi se iss topic ke baare mein ghar par baat nahi ki, not even dad except for mom. (I’ve never talked about this topic with Bhaiya or anyone at home, not even Dad, only Mom.) It’s—it’s embarrassing."

"There is nothing to be embarrassed about, Radha." Sherya's tone softened. "What you are going through, every woman faces it. It's nature's gift to a lady, not a shame or taboo to feel ashamed about. A little bit of care, break, and understanding, every woman deserves that from her family. Men or not... it doesn't and shouldn't matter."

Radha nodded, only to realize that Sherya couldn't see her. She replied, "I understood, di. But how should I tell Bhaiya? Like..." she trailed off, unsure.

"You don't have to say anything, baacha." Sherya reassured her. "Just give the call to Mahir, and I will talk to him."

Radha complied and called out for her brother, who walked in, followed by Arjun just right behind him.

Radha forwarded the phone to him. "Di ko aapse baat karni hai. (Di wants to talk to you.)"

Mahir took the phone and walked out.

Arjun looked at his sister, who looked away just as their eyes met. He sat down beside her on the bed, but still, Radha didn't spare him a glance. Since yesterday, both Radha and Abhi were ignoring him and Mahir. Anyway, he didn't know what he could do as more than him or his younger siblings; it was Mahir who was facing a lot.

Their Bhaiya was bearing the weight of silence and unspoken anger just because he chose to do the right thing.

"Radha?" He called out softly, trying to reach out and hold her hand, but stopped as Radha pulled away.

"Ek baar meri taraf dekh toh sahi, Radha, (Just look at me once, Radha,)" Arjun said and sighed deeply as he received silence as an answer.

Radha clenched her fists, forcing herself not to give in. If she respected Mahir, then she respected Arjun too. Both her brothers had their own edge in her heart differently. Arjun always let her have her way; despite the ten-year age gap, he offered her his friendship. Even if she crossed a few lines, he would let it slide. So now that he sat beside her pleading her to look at him, it was hard to ignore him.

But she didn't have a choice; for Mahir, what he did was right, and for Arjun, too believed whatever decision their Bhaiya took was right. The three of them respected Mahir too much to go against his words, but Arjun at least had the liberty to call out their Bhaiya if he was wrong, something Abhi and she herself couldn't do despite having that right while not wanting to overstep the boundaries.

She was baffled that her Bhaiyu agreed with something so absurd that their Bhaiya had decided. The hurt flashing in Abhi’s eyes, the shock on his face, everything gave away how much he was hurting. And when their Bhaiya walked away, rather than giving her the promise she had asked for… she was sure Abhi must have felt an unbearable ache in his heart, and that didn’t sit well with her.

She couldn’t let her brothers do something so reckless in the name of protecting her. She could survive the taunts or anything that came her way, but not seeing her brothers falling apart just because of her.

"There is nothing to talk about, Bhaiyu," Radha said quietly.

She turned her head and looked at her brother. "Aapne kal Bhaiya ko nahi roka. (You didn’t stop Bhaiya yesterday.) You didn't stand by me when he was saying that he will leave the house for me. What about Abhi then? What about you? Bhaiya ne aaj tak hum teeno ke baare mein phele socha hai, and then he takes any decision. (Bhaiya has always thought about the three of us first, and only then he takes any decision) So today, suddenly, how could he take a decision that can break us apart?"

"Tu itni badi nahi hui hai ki tu Bhaiya ke liye faisle par sawal uthayegi. (You’re not grown up enough to question Bhaiya’s decisions,)"  Arjun interjected firmly, "Tujhe lagta hai Bhaiya ne faisla tere liye liya... (You think Bhaiya made that decision for you…) I won't sugarcoat it as that's the fact. Par ek baar aapne dil par haath rakh kar keh ki uss faisle ki koi zarurat nahi hai? Mere aankhon mein dekh kar bol ki tu mom dad ki kisi baat ka aaj ke baad bura nahi manegi. Agar vo tujhse kuch galat keh bhi de toh you back answer them rather than blaming and crying alone. Bol yeh sab karke paayegi tu Radha? (But, place your hand on your heart and tell me if that decision was really necessary? Look me in the eyes and promise me you won’t take offense at anything Mom or Dad says from now on. If they say something wrong to you, you answer back instead of blaming and crying alone. Tell me, can you do all this, Radha?)"

"I don't want to disrespect them Bhaiyu. I don't want to upset them, they are elder to me...."

"Bade hain toh iska matlab yeh nahi ki jo maan aaye wo karein. (Someone being elder than you doesn’t mean you should blindly do whatever they say,)" Arjun intervened, "Bade hain, hamare parents hain, we should respect them, we should understand them, but not at the cost of our own self-respect. (Yes, they are older, they are our parents, we should respect them, we should try to understand them, but not at the cost of our own self-respect.) Not at the cost of us shattering from within and them spewing poison. Bhaiya tujhe yahan se leke jaana chahte hain, tune wo suna aur tu vo leke baith gayi, par kyun? Yeh jaanne ki koshish ki? Jab se chachu-chachi gaye hain, Bhaiya apni taraf se puri koshish kar rahe hain tujhe wo space dene ki jo tujhe kabhi mili nahi. (Bhaiya wanted to take you from here, you heard that and just shut down, but why? Did you try to understand why? Ever since Chachu and Chachi left, Bhaiya has been making every effort to give you the space you’ve never had.) All he wants to do is help you. You are not crazy that you need us, but you just need to learn how to be yourself, break that shell you are living in, and Bhaiya just wants to help you. Not for himself or others, but for you Radha."

Radha blinked away the tears that fogged her eyes. She knew that, but still, her taking any step in a direction to be herself reminded her of something she didn't wish to dive into. She can't betray her parents, but she can't upset her brothers either. In a way, they all did everything for her, so which side to choose she was yet to understand. Her heart knew that her bhaiya was right, but what was drilled into her for years was not something to be forgotten in a day or so. She felt trapped.

Mahir entered the room with everything Shreya had asked him to get, and adding to the list himself, he brought chocolates too, knowing how much his sister loved them. According to Google, a hot water bag was supposed to help, but he didn't know where it was kept. So, after asking Shreya, he brought an electric hot pad, which would help Radha with the cramps, no need to boil or refill water.

Radha took the bag from her brother's hand, a little embarrassed. She didn't know what to say about it as Mahir carefully took out the hot pad and plugged it into the socket. She frowned. Her mother had always given her hot water bags for the ache, this was something new.

Mahir placed the heating pad beside Radha and looked at his sister. "You can set the temperature as per your need. Just don't keep it on your skin directly or it will leave rashes. Hmm?"

Radha nodded and glanced at her brother, who was still staring at her. Irritation sparked in her eyes as she raised an eyebrow. "What? Aise kya dekh rahe ho aap dono mujhe? (Why are staring at me like this?)

Arjun rose to his feet, and Mahir shook his head. This was the mood swing they both dreaded, the storm of emotions their sister turned into during those few days. They never understood why... but now the answer was right before them.

"Kuch chaiye tujhe? (Do you need something?) Mahir asked cautiously.

Radha shook her head and got down from the bed. She just needed to sleep. But before that, she needed to.... A soft gasp escaped her lips as her eyes fell on the stain across her bedsheet.

Her eyes widened, and tears streamed down freely. She had just humiliated herself in front of her brothers. How could she? She was a big girl! She was supposed to be careful! How could she be so dumb? How could she not handle something every girl faced? How could she let this happen, her mother always got angry at such messes. How could she make the same mistake again?

A sharp pain shot up in her stomach, making her double over. She clutched the nearby table immediately, her body trembling. She was a...

"Radha..." Mahir reached to hold her instinctively but froze as Radha pulled away.

"Leave!" Radha whispered, staring at the floor. Her voice cracked with shame. She didn't wish to look pathetic, not in front of them, not like this.

"Bacche, look at me." Mahir crouched before her, lifting her face. Gently, he wiped away the tears with the pad of his finger. "There is no need to feel ashamed, Radha. It's okay, every woman faces this. You're not alone in it, and you don't have to hide from us. You go, I'll ask the maid to change the bedsheets."

Radha shook her head immediately. Her mother always made her clean it herself, reminding her it was her mess, no matter the pain or tears, "I—I will do it. Aap jao. (You leave.)"

Arjun simply pulled off the bedsheet from the bed in one swift tug and ripped it in two parts with a single jerk of his hands. The fresh burst of tears on Radha's face unsettled him.

Radha gasped, shocked. "Bhaiyu...!"

"Arjun!" Mahir hissed, annoyed.

Arjun shrugged it off casually. "Now no need for her to stress over something so small, and no need to feel guilty. I'll ask the maid to bring fresh bedsheets. Cool!" He uttered and walked out without waiting for a response.

Mahir looked back at his sister and sighed in relief as the tears were replaced by shock. Rising to his feet, he ruffled her hair softly. "Go. By the time you're back, I'll send your breakfast."

Radha walked into the washroom in a daze. For the first time in two years, she didn't end up sobbing pathetically for making a mess. For the first time, she didn't feel the need to be careful or watch her every move, fearing that her mother would get angry or her father would snap. For the first time, she didn't feel disgusted, but normal. And that was what her brothers made her feel, something her parents never did. The feeling was as overwhelming as it was sharp, like pins pricking under her skin.

Her trembling fingers turned the tap, the sound of running water grounding her. She leaned against the sink, staring at her pale reflection in the mirror. Normal. The word echoed in her mind, alien yet soothing. How strange was that her the brothers often clumsy when it came to emotions, could give her what her own parents had always denied her, a sense of safety.

Her mother's harsh voice still rang in her ears, the scolding, the sharp words that made her hate herself for something she couldn't control. But now, what her Bhaiyu did and how her Bhaiya supported it They didn't judge. They didn't accuse. They simply understood. She bit down on her lip as tears welled again, but this time, they weren't born of shame. They were warm, almost comforting. Somewhere deep inside, a knot she had carried for years loosened just a little.

✨✨✨

Abhi sat on the terrace under the shade on the swing. It was afternoon, and he came back from school just an hour ago. Dumping his bag in his room, he changed and came straight to the rooftop.

The fact that he had started to feel suffocate in his own house didn't sit well with him. No one should feel like running away from the safest haven they called home, but Abhi felt that. Not because of his parents or their unchanging "I am right attitude," but because the thought of his Bhaiya leaving the house with Radha terrified him.

Ever since he had started to understand the difference displayed between him and Radha, he began to maintain his distance from his parents, even from his chachu and chachi, who used to shower him with love but turned icy cold toward their own daughter. His parents were no different, when they pampered him silly, forgiving him for being clumsy, they expected strict discipline and perfection from Radha, who was younger than him.

Eventually, Abhi started to maintain distance, as the love he received was conditional; it came at a price for his sister. She tied Rakhi on his wrist every year, a sacred thread that screamed of protection and sacrifice. Abhi gave that promise to Radha, but the worst part was that it was his own family, elders, rather than an outsider who imposed the unfairness.

"Abhi?" Mahir's soft voice startled him out of his thoughts.

Abhi rose to his feet, and looked down as Mahir came and stood before him. He was avoiding his brother since yesterday, and that made him feel guilty as he realized how illogical he was being.

Mahir sighed, "Baat bhi nahi karega? (You’re not even going to talk?)" he asked as the silence stretched and was taken aback as Abhi stepped forward, wrapping his arms around him.

"What happened, Abhi?" Mahir asked, hugging his brother back.

"I am sorry, Bhaiya," Abhi mumbled into his brother's shoulder.

Mahir let him find comfort until Abhi pulled back and guided his brother back to the swing, sitting beside him.

"Why did you apologize?" he asked gently.

Abhi tried to look away, but Mahir didn’t let him. "Abhi?" His tone firmed a bit.

"Mein faltu mai hi aap pe gussa ho gaya, Bhaiya, (I got angry at you for no reason, Bhaiya,)" Abhi said ruefully. "I should have understood ki aap jo bhi kar rahe, (I should have understood that what you’re just doing) is good for Radha only."  He realized that, even though a bit late, that was the truth.

His brother was doing everything in his power to help Radha. Anyone in Mahir's place wouldn't have thought so much, but their bhaiya always thought about his siblings first and kept them first.

Abhi was hurt a little bit, but he refused to overlook his sister's needs, who needed a break from this crazy family.

"You weren't wrong, Abhi..." Mahir cradled his brother's face in his palm. "You were hurt, and that’s okay. I should have talked to you. Arjun and I should have told you everything. You have the right to get angry and tell me when I’m wrong. Just because you are the younger one doesn’t mean you have to only follow and I can act like a dictator."

Abhi smiled softly, meeting his brother's gaze. "I don't mind being the follower, Bhaiya. Just like Bhaiyu does. If it’s you, we will always follow." Sincerity and love laced his tone.

Mahir sighed inwardly; that was the problem as well as an overwhelming emotion. Both his brothers kept him on a pedestal that he needed to think before he reacted.

"I am sorry, Bhaiya," Abhi repeated guiltily.

Mahir shook his head. "There is nothing to apologize for, baccha. I am not upset."

Abhi looked away. Yesterday, in his hurt, he closed the door of his room in his bhaiya's face, which was wrong on his part. Mahir let them act however they wanted, but he also knew when to make his siblings toe the line with just one look of his. But sometimes, he even took the teenage heat that bubbled within Abhi, and as the moment passed, Abhi is left feeling guilty and sadness.

"Can we talk, Abhi?" Mahir asked, gaining his brother's attention.

Abhi shook his head; he already knew what Mahir wanted to talk about. He didn't want his brother to explain something so simple.

"I understand, Bhaiya," His voice laced with conviction. "Aap agar ghar chhod kar jaana chahte hain Radha ke saath, uske peeche wajah hai. (If you want to leave the house with Radha, there’s a reason behind it.) And I—I won’t force you."

He forced out the words, even though they pierced his heart. "I will never come in between you and Radha... Ouch!" he yelped in pain, feeling a sharp sting on his back.

"Bhaiya!" He whined as Mahir whacked him.

Mahir glared back. "I was thanking God for sending such smart brothers into my life, but guess what? You are as much an overthinker as Radha. Desperately walking in your sister's footsteps."

Abhi glared, but his eyes lowered as Mahir's gaze hardened. He couldn't stand those looks.

Mahir lifted his face, forcing him to meet his gaze. "I am not going anywhere with Radha." His tone was firm yet gentle. "Not now as that was an option available only if things get too hard for Radha. I will never impose my decision on her. All her life, she has had enough of that, and even if one day I had to leave with Radha, that wouldn't mean that I will sever my ties with my brothers. You and Arjun will be my brothers, and no one can change that. Clear?"

Abhi looked at his brother. "Can’t we all just leave this house?"

He was done, done living with heartless people. A better part of his heart berated him for thinking like that about his own parents, but then… parents don’t force and ignore their children’s suffering.

"And where will we go, baccha?" Mahir asked calmly.

He wasn’t surprised by the question; in fact, he had expected that one day his brother would ask him something like that. But unfortunately, Mahir didn’t have a proper response. A family that teaches you to stay united, and loyalty binds you to it, leaving it wasn’t an option. Yet he was the only one ready to take his sister away; such was the irony.

Abhi shrugged. He didn’t know that. Without a word, he leaned into his brother's warmth that could provide him solace and peace from the chaos.

"I will never leave you, Abhi," Mahir reassured, caressing his brother's hair. "No matter what. Jitni mere liye Radha important hai, utna hi tu aur Arjun bhi. (You and Arjun are just as important to me as Radha is.)"

Mahir held himself back from saying the reason. He couldn't take his brother away as his legal guardians were his parents, and Mahir would hate to open the box of worms, giving his parents a reason to regain control.

 

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